A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine and I have known each other for a few years now, we have been interested in one another in the past, but, never at the same time. He has been with his girlfriend for over a year (during which time we didn't talk), but he has shared with mutual friends of ours that things are a bit off track between the two of them and he regrets a lot of what happened with us in the past, and wishes things were different. Recently we've been going out (not on dates, just as friends), and while nothing has happened, you could definitely tell both of us want it to. This isn't just some crush from high school I'm still hung up on, I could see myself marrying him. We've had the marriage and family talk and I'm at the point in my life that I need to think about my future (25). What should I do? I don't want to break up a relationship, but I think he's the one. Oh yeah, and we live on opposite ends of the state.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not so much that my clock it ticking, I have just been in a string of bad relationships and I don't want to waste my life away with that, when I know he's the one I want to be with. I wasn't the one who suggested we start seeing each other, he did. The distance, my going away to college is what has caused us not to pursue anything. It's just very natural when we're together, I can be myself, no pressure, it's not about sex, it's just so easy to be with him but at the same time we're not in the "friend zone." But then I think about his girlfriend.
Thank you for all the help!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): did you know that having a kid after 25 is where the risk of "bad happenings" to the baby startsany ways if i was you see if he really loves his gfif he does (cause he's been with her for 1 year now even if things are bumpy thats how relationships are he still probably loves her) i recommend you leave them alone. i think that if he was able to go out with a girl other than you for a 1 year then you should not do anything. you should leave them alone not talk to himbecause when some1 is in a relationship and theres another girl/boy that they know likes themits gets exciting and that excitement can get mixed up as feelings of like..what im trying to say is thatjust because him and his gf are having problemsand during that period he might have feelings for you againdoesnt mean that he wont have feelings for his gfhe is probably just gettin confuse because that excitement made him think his feelings for you are coming back
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I'd tell him that you'd love to date him if he were single, but that you are not going to do anything while he's in a relationship with someone, because that would show a lack of integrity. Then wait and see what he does.
In the meantime, be sure that you are still dating other guys (you don't have to have sex with them, just go out); don't put yourself or your life on hold for him.
I would only tell him this once, make sure he heard it and then leave him well enough alone until he actually is single. You do not want to be the booty on the side.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Shan25 +, writes (1 December 2009):
it sounds sweet but its weird that after all this time he has not pursed you in that way. and plus would you really feel comfortable helping break you a relationship and don't think he want noticed because he does not say anything. instead of playing games just be honest with him you don't to tell him how long to have been wanting him because its half and half chance that he could think negative about you like you've been hanging around because you are secretly obessive, your week, your taking advantage of his feelings,etc. just express to him you want him try dressing up sexy so he can see you as for than a friend and go on a quite along but fun date. good luck
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