A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I need an advice about my relationship. I have been in this relationship since Dec 2008. He has certainly been more than just a loving and caring person. He has always loved me like a child and been very tender towards me. But this is the second time I had given him this chance. He is very famous among girls in his orkut account. I always thought this to be one sided from the girls part, until one day i saw his words written to a girl. He has been sort of cheating me. Refering to her with words like my 'heart', 'baby'. He seemed smitten and she seemed broken by the fact with my presence in his life. She once told him that she has lost her importance in his life now that he has found a girl and it was when i thought he will defend me, he supported her that there is nothing like that and stuff. I wish to break up with him but he has apologize a lot. I have been very hurt. I have forgiven him but it seems very difficult to forget it. I havent left him, I wish to be with him like his friend even though i still love him. The uncertainity that he will repeat is is making me do this. I do not wish to hate him as he is certainly holds a very special place in my heart. I wish to refrain from any factor or causes that will cause hatred for him in my heart. He has done a lot for me apart from this. Even told about our relationship to his sister at an early stage which resulted in certain rifts btw. them. He has cried a lot. Yet I wish to refrain from being his girl as this is nearly the third time this is happening. He has been loving, but dishonest. Please help. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): He still cries a lot on the phone.. And I cannot bear this..He has been very good to me, he even went through a few arguments and tension with his sister regarding me, she didnt allowed him to speak to me, yet he always found a way to come back to me.. I wish to mention an incident here.. He wrote a testimonial for me and the same girl copied it and poste the same to her boyfried.. my guy did told me abt it and said he didnt liked it so ididnt reacted much..later, just that day, i saw he asked her in a very playful manner that he saw she copied the same and told her "You can steal anything you wish..You are my heart" This hurt me the most. Almost like stabbed me. After all this, he deleted that girl from his account. But later he cancelled his account as well, he said he needs a break from tis virtual world, and says that orkut ruined him. he reacted when he saw words from a person in my scrapbook encouraging me that we have to smile, sometimes even fake a smile to keep others happy. when he saw this he said he didnt except anything but love from me and i can leave him, he does not want to tie me up.. It often hurts me to think that if he has been hypocrite to some extent.. I am very sensitive and i have a fear he will do the same to me. i cannot stop my heart yearning for him but i can hide it very well and move away from him only with the fear that i will be hurt again.. I do not expect him to hurt me because he is not just a guy for me.. if there is one person i want to trust, its him.
A
female
reader, Klara  + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
ARGH, these orkut/myspace/facebook accounts are just bad in this respect. you haev this nice guy , he is affectionate to other people in text, but he is treating you very well and you put that text above him in reality.
i understand the jealousy and panic you can feel when reading this stuff.. but most of the time it is just from you. THe other girls feelings are her problem, he is yours and whatever. you could ask him to mention to this girl to tone it down as he is in a relationship and he cares very much about you so doenst want you getting the wrong idea etc.
i am a flirt. i have many friends-guy friends in orkut , but my indian boyfriend of 3yrrs 100% understood and trusted me. he knew coz i would make him videos and send him loving messages, but i'm just affectionate and outgoing..and if soemoen did show interest it would pain me to be rude or fear of making them uncomfortable..i always told them but in a round about way..maybe this is the same for him.
this is afterall just an orkut account...interactive socialising..why destroy your relationship on this...?
i think perhaps you don't want to date him anymore...even though he loves you..maybe you have grown out of him..? just an idea .. best x
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A
female
reader, iSmil3y  +, writes (16 June 2009):
You've given him quite a few chances, more chances then I'd give my boyfriend, to be honest. If you really do love him then I say you give him just one more chance, and I mean only one more. Sit down and have a serious talk with him and let him know that you do love him and it hurts you when he flirts around with other girls and cheats. Let him know how you feel and tell him if he doesn't change his ways, then you'll have to end the relationship. If he does do it again, and you do have to end it, it might be hard but you will find someone else, you're still young.
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A
female
reader, Samii  + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
 Just sit him down and say look a really do love you but this has to stop and if it happens again i'm gone. If he does it again then it is not worth it and you can do better but if he loves you he will realise that you are serious and he wont do it again. Hope this makes sense xx
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