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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i think my boyfriends bribing me and i really dont know what to do about it. ive been with him for nearly 6 months and we have been sexually active for just over two, but its weird. i didnt feel like i was ready for a sexual relationship at the time but he talked me into it, told me to lay back and relax and everything would be ok, i told him i wasnt ready etc but he convinced me everything would be ok, the first time i bled and freaked but then afterwards it was ok, he told me he had a trick up his sleeve if i didnt give him sex when he wanted it and he told me he would make my life hell if i broke up with him. we went to town on thursday and he bought me a new top, i was gonna buy it my self but he ended up gettin me it, he paid for it and whispered you know what this means dont you, i nodded at him and smiled and we walked out of the shop we were stood outside and he kissed me and started to grope me, he was feeling my breats, my bum, and he had his hand in between my legs kinda like masaging me down there. i got quite scared and just pulled away from him and held his hand. we went back to his and i told him i was going to go get on the bus home, he demanded we went inside, we went in and as soon as we got in the door he was strpping me off, i fastened my trousers back up and told him i wasnt in the mood, he hugged me and whispered am i takin the top back then? i shouted yes do what the fuck you want with it ive had enough of you! and he smacked his hand over my mouth, told me he didnt want to take it back but he wanted me now! i sat on his living room floor in front of his sofa and he sat on his sofa, he got his nob out and shoved it in my face, told me to sit next to him. i sat next to him and he got my hand and put it on him so i tossed him off, and then he made me suck him off, i just had enough i was scared of sayin to, he asked me if i was up for it now? i told him i was, we went upstairs and had sex twice, luckily his parents came home so he pulled out and we both got dressed and went downstairs, his mum joked with us, didnt interupt anything did i? we laughed it of no no no, and i went home, he came to my house yesterday and as soon as i answered the door he kissed me, really greabbing my breats and again put his hands in between my legs, asked me if i was going round to his, i told him i was going out and he went in a mood with me! he scares me so much but i cant say no to him, i love him, im only 16 i dont want sex, im scared! what can i do please someone hes comin to mine at 8 by the way, hes 19 and im 16 :(
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male
reader, Johnnybbad  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 You are welcome to the advice young lady. Im very happy to hear that you have got your family involved. I must not condone any type of violence but this beast needs a short sharp shock. That may just be a threat from your parents or a threat of the police. This 'THING' has been getting away with abusing you for too long now and he needs to know that there are serious consequences to that type of behaviour. If he does not get the message early doors and continues to pressure you then you must inform the police. In fact i would do that now. Log a complaint so that if it escalates any further then they already have the details. In the meantime just make sure that you are not alone in any place where he can access you. Always stay in very public areas when you venture out and never succumb to any of his sweet talk and be alone with him. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I hope you get this message soon. I am 22 and married to a wonderful man that loves me. What you are experiencing is rape. You say you love this man. Can you really love someone who forces you to do something that makes you uncomfortable? Any man that loves you would never force you to have sex. Do you like it at all when you are doing it. Are you choosing to do it? If not, he is not convincing you of anything. He knows you don't want to and that you are scared. Sex is about surrendering to love, not surrendering to force. You need to kick him out of your life, he is raping you. Rape is the least loving thing a person can do to someone. It not only hurts you but violates you. It is total disrespect and is a violent crime. If you can not get him to leave him along, you need to tell someone who you can trust and they can help you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhiya everyone, ive just had my tea, had a lovely hot bath, got my pjs on and now im sat in my bedroom writin this with the candles on and the curtains closed, ive text him and told him ive got my cousin coming round (which im not lying, cause she is coming) and ive took your advice and phoned my beast of an uncle LOL. no lie he is huge! im scared of him :D and hes bringin my cousin round to stop tonight so she wont let me be on my own, my uncle phoned me when i text him and he asked me if i was ok because i never text him, so i explained everything to him. basicly i just read my post. he has gone ballistic!! hes told me hes gonna stay round at mine for a couple of hours with my dad (mums gone away for the weekend) and if he turns up, my dads quite a meathead too haha, theyre two big giant slapheads :D and if he turns up, they will tell them where to go. ive always been too scared to tell anyone about him cos hes scary too but now, your replies have made me realise. i know hes using me and i dont deserve to be treat like this. thankyou all so much! its unbeliveable how reading my post has made me realise as well as reading your answers, i never thought it was that bad. thanks again!! x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 Oooh, Johnny B. Bad, great idea. Tell you Dad, your Uncles and your Brothers... and if they're all skinny and wimpy and the women in your family are the tough ones, tell them. Your family would be appalled to learn how your man is treating you! Tell HIS Mother, another person who I'm sure would be shocked at your boyfriends actions.
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A
female
reader, Strippa +, writes (19 July 2008):
 Hey you
Text him tell him you can't make tonight & you'll post his top back to him - he can give it to his next victim. HE IS USING YOU DUMP HIM - tell him you will make his life hell if he tries to make it difficult for you to leave by doing him for RAPE!
You only think you have to do this cos you are 16 when your a woman you will look back & hate this guy - this is abuse! DO NOT SEE HIM TONIGHT!!!!!
Good luck hunny x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 July 2008):
You know damn well what to do. This guy is a complete creep, abusive, manipulative, the works. Get out of this relationship. Tell him to screw himself and put all his little gifts where the sun doesn't shine and stay away from him! Clearly he doesn't love you or he wouldn't be putting you through all of this. Trust me honey, a real man will treat you like a lady and nothing less. This man you're with now doesn't respect you, love you or care about you.
Please, for your own health, safety and sanity, ditch this relationship. There is nothing healthy or loving about it!
Good luck, sweetness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): This is not a good situation.
He is trying to buy your silence and to make you feel guilty.
This is abuse.
U do not owe him anything. Because you had sex with him once, does not mean you have to again if you don't want to.
I know you can feel you love a guy, but if he treats you like that, it is not mutual. He is using u sweetie. Please dont continue, because your self esteem will plummet. And before long, he will have convinced you that you deserve to be treated this way. But all the while, you deserve better. There will be someone better out there.
Tell someone who can help you. Please.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): Don't open the door to him and tell your family. He knows what he's doing and this guy is big trouble. Dump this guy by phone and threaten to call the police if he starts causing trouble. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Johnnybbad +, writes (19 July 2008):
Tell ur Dad as soon as possible.. He'l soon put a stop to this beast. Good luck.
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