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I don't want him as my boyfriend

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2022) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2022)
A female Bangladesh age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have known a particular guy for years now. I do not want to be in a relationship with him because of reasons i can't understand. I have never felt such an attraction for anyone. I mostly have male friends and i've never wanted such an attention from anyone. I can't seem to like anyone so much. Why can't i like anyone else so much or more than how much i like him? Even when we have fought a hundred times. We even stopped talking multiple times yet we started talking again. I don't want him to be my boyfriend then why can't i like anyone else so much?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2022):

Maybe you do like him, but he doesn't seem to like you the way you like him?

Can it be that you won't allow yourself to be attracted to other guys, because you are waiting for him to show that he is romantically-attracted to you?

Maybe it is because he treats you like a friend or a sister; but he has never made any romantic-advances towards you, as he would a woman he is attracted to. You feel loyal to him; so you have set your feelings to accept your friendship on his terms.

You say you don't want him as a boyfriend, but you don't want anybody else. That doesn't make any sense.

You won't allow yourself to see other men; maybe because you're hoping for a miracle that he will want to be more than friends. Then you can open yourself up, and allow yourself to be attracted to him as more than just being a friend.

You've shutdown and closed-off your feelings; because you are frustrated with him. You have many arguments, because you are angry that he doesn't show you the kind of feelings you want from him. Maybe it is the opposite of what you say. You DO want him as your boyfriend!

Otherwise, I don't see why you have no interest in anyone else.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (2 February 2022):

kenny agony auntYou say that you have never felt such an attraction for anyone, that statement in itself in my opinion stems a bit deeper than someone you are just friends with.

You go on to say you have never wanted such an attention from anyone, again not something that you say about your friends.

In my opinion you really like this guy, but you are telling yourself you do not want a relationship, kind of in denial, pushing your feelings for him away. I feel if you did not feel some sort of romantic attraction for him in the back of your mind you would not be here on DC posting this question.

" why can't you like anyone else so much or more than how much you like him"?. I think that we both know the answer to that question OP.

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