A
female
age
30-35,
*wasti
writes:Hi guys..... I am really freaking out with the problems in my relationship these days... n I really need some kinds of advice to handle this out. I hope you guys would help.I am in a relationship with my boyfriend since last 4 years. We were friends, or say best of friends at first. Then slowly unknowingly we fall for each other and we got committed.It was my first love. After passing a month together, we started having problems with each other (or say I had). Because he started ignoring me for no reason. He stopped talking to me. I asked him many a times for the reason of this behaviour of his, but he never cared to answer. Gradually, I too started bieng away from me. and, finally we officially broke up. I had no contacts with him. After a month or two, a guy proposed me and I accepted to move on, but I wasn't serious about this guy, because I had always loved him, my first love. Then one day my ex messaged me, and talking with him for some days made us friends once again. I always had a feeling deep in my heart. I just couldn't ignore him. After some days, he came in relation with a friend of mine. I really started feeling jealous of that girl. my friendship with her slowly faded. Also, this affected my present relationship. But fortunately, my friend ditched him. And he was lonely once again. One day he proposed me. My present bf got to know about this and asked me what I felt. And, I told him the truth that I still loved him. And unexpectedly, He let me go to him saying all that matters is my happiness. I, like a free bird, said a yes and returned to him, my first love. But things have likely got changed after that. Since then 4 long years have passed, we are in relationship. But it feels like the essence of this relation has gone. We fight so much, cry a lot, break up and patch up again. most of the times we are shouting, yelling or fighting. It ssems like love just lasts for few seconds in our life. I accept my faults, I am always irritated with him. I, sometimes act childish and impatient. But whatever happens I say sorry, he never does. He always remains with his ego, even if the fault is his. If I say breakup, he never stops me. He makes me cry a lot, and doesnot bother to console till I say sorry. I complain to him, but he doesn't just understand. He blames me for everything. Then after a long fight, we love each other for some time. this is what our relation has become. I am freaking out with these fights and his nature. I just don't know how to deal with him. we were never like that. We used to understand each other so well that people were jealous with us. But I don't know where all those days have gone. we flirted with each other, teased each other.... I just want that sweetness to return in our life, but its becoming more bitter day by day. I know we both love each other a lot, but don't know what is going on..... Hoping for some suggestions from you guys. I really don't want to loose him..... :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): You are trying to bring back the past; when things "used to be good." You must have been between 13 and 16 years old!!!
Well, remember why you recently broke up with him? He hasn't changed, and you took back the same guy you broke up with the last time.
You wanted to turn back the clock. You're old enough to know that won't happen. You're a young woman, and can't be 14 again.
Dump him once and for all; and cut off all contact from now on. He grew up to be a jerk, and you're acting immature yourself.
If you maintain contact, you will continue to follow the pattern of breaking up, and coming back together. Missing out on meeting other guys; and getting on with your life.
The sweet teen days are gone! Puppy-love is over!
You don't know how to end a bad relationship. You are in-love with a "boy" that doesn't exist anymore.
You're putting up with what he is now, hoping he'll magically turn back into the kid he used to be.
BIG MISTAKE!That's never going to happen. That was another time, this is now! You are both young adults. Behave like it.
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