A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I fell in love 4 years ago and got my heart broken for the 1st and only time when he cheated on me with someone that worked in the same bar as him. We were both young and not really ready to b serious so I forgave him and we remained friends but everytime we felt like there was something there so we gave it a try a few more times before eventually deciding to break contact. When we saw each other we always said hello but our feelings were too much for the situation n one of us always made excuses and left asap. I've always felt like I was never truly happy and that something was missing, the cliched dull ache inside. Anyway many things hav happened over the years like me finishing my degree and havin a son, him getting engaged for 3 yrs to his rebound from me and them splitting up after an abortion and a misscarriage sadly. She left him about a yr ago and he and I bumped into each other that nite wen he askd if i'd spend the nite with him and help him through things as I never put up with his excuses and kno him better than anyone. We talked and watched movies and we've been friends ever since. Recently we've decided to "just c what happens" as when we went to a movie it felt like a date n we both agreed that it felt odd not kissing at the end of the nite, after that we had a 1st date again but there was so much pressure it was the most tense i've ever felt lol hence the non-commital phrase. This was a while ago and neither of us truly consider ourselves single but we cant move forward into a healthy relationship because he doesnt see children in his life ever and my son is almost 1 and my entire world. Sometimes im genuinelly happy with our situation as I still have my own independance and my son already has a father so doesnt need him in his life. It was all fine until the other day when the guy im seeing got up to go to the bathroom in the morning and popped into my son's room as he was awake. He picked him up even tho he was fine and brought him to bed with us n started playing with him. Wen I said after a while that we should get up he offered to make me coffee and stayed for about 20mins watching a dvd with us. We only see each other once a week due to work but txt each other everyday and tell each other everything except he hasnt txt me today and now im realising I may have got my hopes up a little again that things will work out this time. Basically iv just realised I love him still n would really like an outsiders perspective on the whole thing x thanks in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi petina, I didnt introduce him to my son straight away but we hungout as friends while I was pregnant and he came over wen he was a cpl of months old just to keep me company a few times. My sons normally in bed before he comes over nw but he sees him breifly in the morning x
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Sounds like he has been through a lot and probably hasnt come to terms with it yet. He was okay about seeing you again and having fun, but seeing your son could have brought him back to reality. Life with children has to be taken with responsibility and he may need time to think about that. Are you hoping to pick up where you left off, things being a bit different now because you have a son that's not his. It may have been a good idea to let him meet your son over a period of time to let him adjust to the idea as well. Your son seems to be the factor that has made him react differently to what you expected I'm sure. If you have any chance of recovering this you need to talk about what you both want from this. Hope this helps
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