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I don't see a future for me and my now ex boyfriend... so how do I stop loving him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ic_Zoo16 writes:

I split with my ex 6 months ago, after 4 years together- for all the right reasons, nothing in common, hes very childish, doesnt make me feel happy, he prefers time with his friends drinking than me- he is sort of like peter pan, lovable but infinately immature (and he's almost 30)- it was all a mess and I was momentarily relieved when it ended.

The trouble is I ended things knowing I still was very much in love with him- i just couldnt see a future.

I saw him yesterday, we went for lunch and I miss him terribly. We both said we still loved each other but it was, as always me initiating everything.

I know he wont make me happy in the long run but I dont know how to stop loving him. Its not about meeting other people either becasue I have been dating a really lovely bloke for a few months- but i cant forget my childish, boring, unromantic idiot of an ex....arent we supposed to fall in love with people we actually like?

I dont know whether its worth another chance or whether there is a way anyone knows of- of activly killing those loving feelings. I dont want to feel like this about him. I cant see a way it would work....

any advice, any at all, much appreciated.

View related questions: immature, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

The problem here is that you are in love, not with the guy he is now but with the guy you thought he would become.

And its always easier to love the Guy in front of you more than a guy youve never met.

My advice is allow yourself to feel sad that its over. But reassure yourself that its for the better, and look after you. Mr Right will be along presently.

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