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*silent1
writes:My Husband of 25 years decided to go on a business trip 6 years ago and decided to dress up as a woman and had friends that did the same. He said he did not cheat on me and after that I changed my looks and lost weight I felt I was not woman enough! He said he would never do it again. But I dont love him the same way I did. That was 6 years ago! I dont know what to do? I dont feel like being faithful anymore! Reply to this Question
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reader, lovebird1  +, writes (17 June 2011):
I'm not really sure if I understand you, but I have different ideas, I hope this helps..a) his dressing up sort of made you feel anxious because you were afraid something had come in between the both of you that you didn't know before and that could cause him to love you less, or even leave youb) his dressing up made you feel angry because you thought it was your privilege or your role to be the feminine part in the relationship, so you felt like he stole something from you that was yoursc) his dressing up made you feel disgusted because you thought it was inappropriate of him and made him less amiable and masculine, and you were ashamed of being married to himd) his dressing up made you feel hurt because he shared some intimacy with other men - a part of his fantasies and sexuality - that he had never shared with you, and it felt like he betrayed you with this. And now you feel like you can't trust him anymoreI don't know which feeling it is, but there must be a big, big emotion that stands between you and him for 6 years now. It sounds like you feel guilty for not loving him, and that you want to accept this episode and get over with it but can't for some reason.Have you asked him why he dressed up that night, and what it meant to him? Have you ever told him how you felt when he did this? Maybe if you understand him, and if you can manage to make him understand you too, you both stand a chance to get closer again.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (17 June 2011):
 Because some men feel the need to dress up as women and do so, doesn't necessarily mean they are gay or bi, or are going to cheat on their partners. In fact, there are cross dressing support groups (believe it or not) to which both spouses belong.
Your husband did this six years ago. Has it bothered you all this time, and if not, why is it such a big issue now?
My guess is that other problems have come up between the two of you and you obviously have a number of dissatisfactions in your marriage. Have you talked about those issues? Tried marital counselling?
If you have, and your situation is still so unhappy and unresolved, you should contemplate separating and see if you eventually can reconcile, or whether to proceed with divorce.
To go ahead and have an affair with someone else at this point would be a huge mistake and just make things infinitely worse. Unless you end your marriage, do not cheat on your husband!!
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