A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work with a girl who told my workmates that she really fancied me. I decided not to let on that I knew. We went out as a group last week, had a laugh and she kissed me at the end of the night. I really like her but am not sure if she's had second thoughts and there have been some awkward silences this week that I feared there would be. Also, her behaviour seems to have changed. She openly talks about sex when before she didn't in front of me. I know she's been hurt in the past and I don't want to pressure her but it's driving me crazy not knowing what she's really thinking. I guess I'm just too scared to ask her and tell her how I really feel. We're due to go out in the same group again this week but I'm not sure what will happen this time. It's only been a few days but it feels like a lifetime. Any advice gratefully received. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): You know she isn't the only one acting differently right now. You've changed too, and she's unsure about how to act from here on out.
Tell you what... Ask her out on a bona fide date, complete with restaurant, dinner, and dancing. Oh, and lots and lots of talking. Don't take her someplace with loud and obnoxious music. You need to reset things to square zero and put things into a perspective that she'll recognize as a date, after which you may have to wait a few dates before getting your second "first kiss".
But if you like her, you'll probably be better prepared for it the second time around and do a better job.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 May 2007):
 Okay the crucial question here is what did you do during and after the kiss? Did you kiss her back or were you stunned into doing nothing? When she kissed you did you say something about it or change the subject. Inaction or changing the subject probably made her feel you were embarassed by the kiss and hadn't wanted it to happen so now she's working on making you think she wasn't hurt by your lack of reaction. Best advice I can give you? Ask her. Tell her you really enjoyed the kiss and since then she seems a little annoyed with you and why is that? Chances are she's trying to protect herself by pretending she doesn't care.
CD
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