A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there...I just need advice on a matter that has been on my mind almost 24/7 for the past 3 years or so... I have feelings that are so strong towards an ex-teacher of mine(who is also female). After I left High school I stayed in contact with her, and I felt we became very close. Things were so different between us, and she treated me more as a friend as I was no longer her student. My feelings developed more and more towards her. It's now at the point that I just cannot focus on much else....she's always there in my head, and I'm always wondering what she's doing or what she would think or say in a situation.I have little interest in much else these days - she's just there. She's approx 10 years older than I. This is where I ask for your help and advice... What should I do? Should I tell her and possibly lose her friendship (which means so much to me), or should I leave it alone?? I don't know if I can continue like this much longer, but I also don't think I could handle rejection and the loss of her all together... Please, please offer me your advice - either way.Many thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): you just need to talk to her. you say she's a mate so if she truly is then why should something as important as your feelings be the cause of a lost friendship. if she's truly a mate then she'll help you through this, not make it worse for you. anyway there's nothing to say that the feeling may not be mutual?? good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): Hi...
I posted the question earlier. Just in response to my reply, I'm not sure whether or not she is a lesbian....I'm not even sure if I am... I never felt like this about anyone else before, and the fact that I've had these feelings for the same person for so long, without the feelings changing, makes me believe that there is something very strong there.
As I said, I don't know whether or not she is a lesbian....I do know she has been single for a long time, and if I ask her about men or boyfriends in her life, she just laughs or says something like "I don't have time for that!!!".... So you can see where my confusion lies on the whole matter.
I sometimes feel like she may be dropping hints that she may be interested in me, but I'm afraid I may be just reading too much into things... For example, when she's talking to me she winks at me, when she met me and a guy friend out together she automatically assumed I was dating him, which I wasn't....I have to admit I allowed her to believe so just to see her reaction, and sure enough, she didn't seem happy for me...
Maybe all these things are insignificant, but to me it's so important. I'm searching for help....Please help me
Thanks again xxx
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (7 November 2007):
 It may be best to not tell her 'cause if you do things could get complicated and your friendship could be finished. Even something as petty as that (sorry if that sounded a bit harsh). Just treasure a strong friendship and try to not think of her as a possible lover, just a friend you love. If that makes sense.
Hope this helped, even if just a little.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Hi,
I guess the crucial question here is , Is she also a lesbian? If she's not then I cant see the point in telling her. If she is then you have to tell her, otherwise the relationship is in essence not entirely truthful. You will only tie yourself up in knots thinking about it , or worse still she could meet someone else.
Just build up the courage and tell her, there's no point continuing under the guise of friendship if your heart is set on something more. Hopefully it will work out for you.
Good luck
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