A
female
age
30-35,
*oney Sweet
writes:This time I haven't been able to get my head through this because I don't know wherever I'm making a big deal of it and I don't know how I've reacted to this. Me and my boyfriend have only just got together a few weeks ago. He met my mum and dad and nan the other day and it all seemed fine. Last night he tells me he needs to spend a bit of time apart so he can save up for his holiday to amsterdam in july and I said right so you want to spend time apart? And he said "yh so I can save money for dam chloe" and he wrote another message while I was trying to find something to write back; "we are still together xx". I don't know how to feel or to react or respond to this situation. I need help xxx thank u x
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Well, it depends why exactly staying apart from you would save him money. If it means that he is going to get a job, or a second job, or do lots of overtime, then it makes perfect sense that he needs time apart .
Ditto, if his dates with you cost him quite some cash : dinner, movies, gas... If that's the problem tell him that you are happy and willing to contribute to his vacation with total expense free dates. If two people like each other , they'll be fine just walking around window shopping, or sitting at home watching TV.
In fact, that may help him, - if he is busy NOT spending money with you, at least he won't be tempted to go out and blow cash by himself or with friends :)
But if he balks at the suggestion or brushes you off, well, then it's not about saving money for Amsterdam ( Amsterdam ? this guy is up to no good :). He's probably taking a big step back because it has started or become fast too relationship-y for his tastes , he wants to see you, but more casually. He wants no obligations, like, to spend with you all Saturday nights, or Sunday afternoons. Or to hang out with your family.
Which is not a crime in itself , you just need to be very clear about what you want and what you are OK with : a "boyfriendish " official boyfriend, or something more "let's take it a day at the time and see what happens ".
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Maybe meeting the family so soon has made him panic a bit about whether he is getting in too deep, or maybe he is short of cash. Could you ring and have a chat about it? And if he does want to see you, do something that doesn't cost any money?
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