A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try and keep this short; I'm seeing this girl and we both love each other - we both say we're committed to the idea of being together for a really long time. However, this was put on hold when I had to go away for a few months (something we both knew was going to happen), but we've both struggled to settle into our new long-distance state. We argued a lot at the start, and we're both a little insecure, but we were able to get past this and we've both benefitted from me being away. However recently she has particularly struggled with the idea of being away from me - saying she feels distant from me. There's also several guys that really like her and are taking the advantage of me being away to try and be with her. She's told them she's seeing someone, but they won't leave her alone and she still talks to them. I know if I were there she wouldn't spend as much time with them as she is, and we only have another month apart, but I don't know how to convince her that we'll be fine when I'm back. I also don't want to ask her to stop talking to these people, but I know if she wasn't tied to me she'd be attracted to them, and they're persistently asking her out and flirting. This, alongside her being sad I'm away, is making it very difficult - I don't want to end things with her at all, but as I say, I don't know how to convince her we'll be fine and make her settled again.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): "I don't know how to convince her we'll be fine and make her settled again."
You can't, she can only convince herself, and that may or may NOT happen.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Have you tried sending her a huge bunch of flowers and or a teddy for her to hug at night. These all help, when I was away from my bf for a year, and I had moments of insecurity, he would send me a big bunch of flowers, with a note saying just so you know I am thinking of you.
On other days he would just send me special texts.
Once for an entire week he had a single rose sent to me with a single word sent with each one, at the end of the week I had a note that said, I Love You Today Tomorrow and Always.
One Friday night I got home to find a box on my door step, in this box was a torch and a note that told me to go to the corner, on the pole was another note, (the notes were on a beautiful little card) he sent me to different places and by the time I got back home I had all sorts of little things that he knew would make me giggle and smile, as I walked up my path it was lined with candles, I opened the door and there were candles everywhere, he was there in the lounge room holding a new release DVD that I had been waiting to come out, on the table was candles and it was set so beautifuly, he took me to the bathroom where he had a bath waiting with bubble and beside the bath was a bowl of strawberries. After the bath he took me to the table and sat me down, he had cooked me dinner and then we went and cuddled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watched the movie, (really not his thing by the way). He left early the next morning.
Now all of this he never for a day did he let me think he was not thinking of me.
He came back and we have been together for 4 years and are engaged to be married.
I know I rambled on but this really helped me when he was away, and all the other guys that were looking were not even a second thought for me, my heart was full and my head was spinning.
Now once a week he brings me home flowers, everyday I get a text and we always have "date night" once a month.
I hope this helps. Good Luck
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