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female
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anonymous
writes: I have known my boyfriend for almost for 4 years. We were bestfriends for 3 before we actually started dating almost a year ago. (March will be a year) We have both graduated high school and we have both moved on to college. My concern is that we have been getting into a lot of stupid fights since we have started college and I'm getting tired of it. It seems like every other day we are fighting over the most stupidest things possible. My concern is when we do get into fights he seems to turn to his mother about OUR problems. I have talked to him about this and how I don't like him exposing our personal issues with his mother only because of the fact that once it reaches his mother it is always revealed back to my parents. (My parents and his parents are always bumping into each other at least once or twice a month. It kind of freaks me out because they are always talking about my relationship with their son.) Now let me remind you that his mother is the kind of mother who likes to be involved with her children's lives, personal or not, and I have the feeling that I'm pretty sure she likes me but I don't think she'll ever accept me for dating her son. Or in other words thinks that I'm not fit for him. My question is: Can I ever trust my boyfriend again with personal issues between us and hoping that it won't get back to his mother? And if it happens again what should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Oh boy this needs to stop now! You poor thing!
Sit down and try to talk to your bf about this situation calmly and quietly. It is bad enough knowing he is discussing your probs with anyone but his MA!
If you tell him how you feel and why you have these feelings and the situation doesn't stop the next port of call is his Mum. You need to tell her of your concerns about her repeating things back to your parents. Tell her you would value your privacy and ask her if she would like it if the shoe were on the other foot.
Unfortunately I am trying to give you advice on a situation I have had in my life before. I tried things the *nice* way by talking and trying to be civil but she just wouldn't play ball. Now 8 years later I have nothing to do with her except to drop my son off to see his grandma. So you really cannot predict how she will act.
But if you keep your dignity and keep stating your needs and wants then you will be blameless in this situation and can walk away with your head held high.
I wish you mre luck than I ever had xxx
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