I don't get any intimacy!

A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend and I have been going out for nine months... we love each other very much... however because of her last relationships she kinda feels uncomfortable being touched, so I only ever really get rare hugs and we've never kissed... unsurprisingly, being intimate with her (she's my first relationship) is pretty much the only thing on my mind, and also unsurpisingly I am feeling pretty lonely but I don't want to leave her either, god forbid. She refuses to talk about it just saying that there will be one day when we will but I have no idea when it is. All my friends say what she is doing is silly and that she should feel comfortable after a 9 month relationship. I've tried to talk to her about it before but feel like I'll just get a lecture from her if I do (she is 10 months older). I swear, if I looked in that mirror in Harry Potter that shows you the most desperate deepest desire you have it would be our first kiss. I'm really confused and I know that intimacy is an important part of a relationship.

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