A
female
age
30-35,
*itru
writes:Hello Cupid.Long time no see and since last time I asked help from people I didn't actually know, I've had a really good nearly 3 years with my boyfriend who is half a year younger than me. We both were eachothers firsts and we've been through a lot. But we've never had a real argument about anything. He is really sweet and everything a woman would want from a man. But I think differently.For four months now since May I've felt that I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I feel pressed down and constantly think of life without him. I've tried to keep myself going and convince myself that this is what I want but with no effort. I still feel I don't want him. He is very stable and calm and won't in a million years betray me or cheat on me. But I feel that I'd rather want someone who is caotic and I'd have to fight more for him. I'm sure it's a phase, since I'm quite young, but knowing myself I also know that if I don't do anything I will keep thinking that maybe it's best if we separated.I've acted strange around him and started nagging on stupidest things (generally I get really easily pissed off when people eat with mouths open or make weird noises). I don't like it when he takes me into his arms and hugs me. I see him as a boy not a man.On top of all that there's a guy I've known for four years (I've known my boyfriend for 3 years)and who I've liked since then. Now I've started seeing him more frequently and yesterday at a folk party we danced and sat together and just had fun. I have really taken the liking to that guy and when I think of my boyfriend I try to figure out how to break up with him. Also one of my best friends likes the not-my-boyfriend guy and the feeling seems to be mutual. But I can't say for sure because yesterday was rather confusing. But if my friend does start going out with him I will not try anything.For a month now I've given it more thought that I should indeed end the relationship. We don't live together, I styarted a new school, but last year in December I had to move in with him because dad moved away from my last school. So we've lived together (at his mums). From now on we only see eachother some weekends. I know I have to sit down with him and have a talk but not sure how to do it and what would be the objective in the end. The biggest problewm however is that I've never had a relationship so serious before and I don't know how, where, when to talk with him. How to start it.
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 you just tell him all of what you've told us, that you aren't feeling it anymore, that he's a great guy but you aren't ready to settle down, you want to play the field, you want to explore your options, you're sorry and maybe someday you two can go back to being friends. you know the objective-to end the relationship-so do it as quickly and unoffensively as you can.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Breaking up is never easy. You just tell him I don't see you in my future your a boy not a man. I also am interested in someone else. He may wanted to break up too but was waiting on you to initiate. You are probably not compatible cause he make think some of The same things. He wants chaotic lovers or friends to. lol
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