A
female
age
30-35,
*yricStorm
writes:Hey everyone:)I need some help; i love my hunny and everything and want to be with him, but i find myself not wanting to have sex everyday or everyother day for that matter. I enjoy like the quality time we spend together doing silly stuff but as for the sex part i am just not that into doing it, and it isnt like he's bad at in infact he's honestly great and once he actully gets me to do it with him it is wonderful, But it is just everything leading up to it!!!!Is it because my sex drive is that low or is it just me??Someone help me figured this out!!!
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): Hi Sweetness,
You are a young beautiful queen, and you have all the right to choose who and when should touch your beautiful body. Never put up for anything you don't want just to please someone else. Sex is something you do ONLY when you feel comfortable doing it. If he is pushing it then he simply doesn't deserve you.
Be honest with him and tell him that this is who you are, and that if he wants something different then hevdgould find another one. If he pushed again after this then break up with him and move on. He sounds already like an abuser to me, and you definitely don't deserve abuse. Only you decide who should touch your body, and when should they. Remember this. Guys like him don't really deserve to be in a relationship because abusers should be left alone, but if you really care, unfortunately for this jerk then give him one mire chance. If the inappropriate and undesired sexual approaches don't stop then break up with him and move on. Good luck hun.
A
female
reader, msvee +, writes (1 August 2010):
 No, not everyone is like that.
"But it is just everything leading up to it!!!!"
^Then cut out whatever you can
...............................
A
female
reader, LyricStorm +, writes (1 August 2010):
LyricStorm is verified as being by the original poster of the question You know i've tried that too:( asked him how many times a week we should have sex and honeslty he only said 3 times but i still cant do it.
And really he is not a bad guy or has bad sex really i think its me...
I mean i can masturbate thinking about him like 3times a day but the actual doing it part isnt clicking for me.
I want to do it everyday but hte only way to do that is to be out in public in a stange place or something.....
UHHHHHHH........:(
...............................
A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Ye, it's possible. Not to worry, as long as you have a good time when you do have sex, it's all carrots and apples. If you don't want to, you don't need to feel pressured. Just make him wait until you feel more like it and it'll be worth the wait for him, huh? :)
'Leading up to it'? Maybe you have too much foreplay for your taste? Maybe use a happy regular moment instead, you'll get fired up easier.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 August 2010):
 No, this is not unusual in my opinion. You will probably go through phases all your life - sometimes insatiable, and sometimes just nominally interested.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (1 August 2010):
 There's nothing wrong with you, physically or emotionally. Everyone has a slightly different sex drive, and I wouldn't worry until you only want it once a week or less.
That said, for practical purposes you may want to put out more anyway. The guy sounds as though he has a higher sex drive, and not satisfying it is a great way for to make him cheat. Compromise - you don't want to feel used, and he doesn't want to feel neglected. Besides, even when you're not in the mood to begin with, sometimes just starting to have sex will change your mind.
If you can't compromise, the relationship will be rough, and probably not work out in the long run. Matching sex drives are important.
...............................
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (1 August 2010):
Well you could ask him what is the ideal frequency for him. I'm guessing he'll say at least once a day.
So would once every 2 days be a reasonable compromise ? Esp as you seem to like it once you get going ?
Is there anything specific you don't like about the sex acts you do together ? Is there anything you fantasize about which you have been a bit embarrassed to suggest ?
Anyway you need to be open with him about your lack of enthusiasm and it is a big potential problem down the line. For guys getting enough is a big issue ( and enough for most guys is a lot more than once or twice a week! ! )
...............................
|
