A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've asked a ton of questions on here for some advice, but I've never really got the help that I needed. In May 2008, I *unofficially* dated this guy, we were friends first, I was 16 he was 16, but we just didnt want to rush into anything incase it didn't work out. In high school, the word 'linking', is another word term you can use instead of using 'unofficially dating'.When it comes to 'linking', there is a rule to it, its like an unspoken rule but everyone knows what the word linking means and what you can do.You are able to 'link' as many guys/girls as you want to and there are no questions asked and you cannot stop your partner from linking people, but when a guy starts linking a girl, they tell the girl that she isn't the only girl in his life, and vice versa.With me, I didn't actually fully know the rule.. Because it was my first time ever that I involved myself with a guy.At the time, I thought it was just me and him, we linked for about 3 weeks and I fell in quite deep. Many of my friends say that because he was my first and he treated me differently from other guys because he was the first guy to ever like me, I got too attached.I broke my leg on the third week and was stuck at home for 20weeks in a plaster. He came to visit me 5 times so I do know he had feelings for me, but I was still unaware of his other links.Middle of July came and I find out he had a girlfriend, he told he had been 'linking' her when he was with me, and he decided to ask her out. I didn't know about it at all, because for the whole time I thought it had just been me and him.And from then on, we didnt speak at all.It's been 6 months and im still not over him!We don't talk anymore, since September we haven't said a word to each other and I think its going to remain that way. Is there anyone who can help me with what I should do? I see him in school, he is in 3 of my lessons. I really dont want to be stuck on him anymore. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY +, writes (5 January 2009):
 oh god this linking thing just seems a way for guys to snog as many girls as possible - seriously i think 'linking' only benefits people who want open relationships - once you fall in love you are screwed. I think from the start when you both agreed to 'link' you in a way 'agreed' to it being okay for him seeing other girls so you cannot really be upset with him that he has?? Life is crap at times and we cant always get what we want. If you agree to 'link' then you have to accept you wont be the only one. You are only young but i still think its a bit daft really, i would wait and find a mature guy who wants to see you and only you as you yourself seem too mature for 'linking' - rise above it!
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