A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend were together for 9 months and i was a few weeks pregnant when we split up due to pressure with my family hating him and stuff. (theres a long story there that I don't wanna go into but my parents are very controlling and have never really liked any of my boyfriends or friends)Anyway a few weeeks before I was due to give birth he got back in contact with me and we agreed to try again, he was there for the birth and has been very helpful and supportive since.Now I know it is wrong but I wanted to see what he had been up to since splitting up with me and he left his facebook on so i checked his messages, he said he had got very friendly with a girl and there were messages from her saying that he wanted to "bang" her and stuff like that :/ I know we weren't together at the time and it shouldn't bother me but it really is :/Plus I know he had a very experienced sexual past with threesomes and stuff whereas I am not that experienced and I feel down about it now and I know it sounds strange but I have visions of him with other girls :( plus I feel like I am not good enough for him :(I dont know whether its down to just having a baby but I don't know what to do, i dont feel like i can talk to him because it is embarassing. I cried all day today and he didnt know why, i know its not fair on him but i just dont know what to do :| help please
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): Sounds like a bit of baby blues here. If you hadn't been pregnant I bet you would have dated other lads when you 2 had split up?
He messed about, but clearly they meant nothing to him because he's back with you.He got his priorities sorted out and has been there for you and the baby.
His past is done, nobody can change it. HE got in touch with you, he is with you now and you have a lovely new baby.
Good luck x
A
female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (26 March 2012):
You can look at it this way. He was with those other girls and still came back to you. They didn't do it for him. You are his choice.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Another thing-
He can't change what he's done in the past with other girls while you two were broken up and while you were pregnant. I can't say what he did while you were pregnant with his child was appropriate or excusable but try and see whether or not he's cleaned up his act. Like I said, if he is supporting you and the baby, then that should tell you what/where his priorities are now.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (26 March 2012):
It's understandable that his past sexual experiences make you uncomfortable, but have some confidence, he got back in contact with you and wants to make this work. If he's been helpful and supportive since, then that's great. Try not to think about the other girls and concentrate on this: let his actions speak louder than words. If he is supporting you and the baby, then that should tell you what his priorities are.
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A
female
reader, Tinkerbell_heart +, writes (26 March 2012):
I'm really sorry to hear that you feeling like this! My heart goes out to you.
Abcerlutly no way should you feel bad for feeling the way you do and their is a good reason for feeling the way you do. The human body is very clever and the feeling s you are experienceing are just your body's way of alerting you that something is not right; so plead do listen to your gut feeling!
Why this is happening I'd because you subconscious mind is very clever and it already knows this even though you carn't pin point why.
I would do egzactly the same thing and check someone s Facebook because you need to look out for number1!
Regardless of the fact wether you were together or not it is clearly not making you feel good to feel this way so I would say it's a sign that he might not be the best person to meet you needs because in a good healthy relationship you should feel the best and not inadequate by any means.
Hope that helped and I would feel egzactly the same with or without having a baby.
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