A
male
age
41-50,
*andy barr
writes:i have cheated on my wife now iam wondering if i should let her be with another man so she can feel even
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): why not offer her a 3 in a bed? it may be more of a fantasy that cums true and could give u an idea of whether the wife gettin it with another man is really ur kich,which think it is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): does your wife know that you cheated? and i would try to talk to her as best as you could. and if you both klove eachother i would try talking to her or some mariage councling to try to fix your marriage cause if she cheats back it will just make everything worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Howz this for irresponsible advice: yes, you cheated so allow your wife to have sex with another man. Then you don't have to feel guilty. Afterward you both can compare notes.
Seems like you care nothing about your marriage. Instead of trying to protect your marriage and to ensure that you save your relationship u are taking the easy way out. So if u do not care about the status of your marriage, yes allow your wife to have sex with another man. Why must u have all the fun?
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (17 January 2011):
what do you mean should you "let" her be with another man?
did she ask your permission if she could sleep with another man?
Or do you mean that she found out that you cheated on her, so now she is getting back at you by cheating on you, and you are wondering if you have any right to get angry at her and demand she stop.
I would say, no, you don't have a right to make demands on her because you betrayed her first. I don't think it's a good idea on her part, since point-scoring on who has done the most wrong isn't healthy... but that's not the point. The point is that she's acting out of retaliation to what you did to her, so you don't have a right to deny her that if it is her choice.
You should extend the olive branch if you want to salvage your relationship since you were the first to cheat.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 January 2011):
 When you shoot yourself in the foot, do you shoot your other foot so your limp won't be lopsided?
Go confess to your wife, answer all her questions honestly (no trying to make yourself look better, even a little), and beg for forgiveness. If she doesn't take you back, consider it a lesson learned. If she does, be the best damn husband there ever has been, and accept that the process of being forgiven may take months, maybe longer. But don't "let" her cheat and cheapen herself that way. Think of her loyalty as an ideal to live up to, not something to tear her down from.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): They told you when you were young that two wrongs don't make a right. That applies here.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 First you have define what your love is. Does love mean restraining your desires for other people even if it hurts? Does love mean possessing the other, domesticating each other? Can you separate love from sex and can she? Can she agree with your view?
I think you should. Cheating does not take the love away. You still love each other. What you should tell her is that she should do whatever makes her happy. That's more effective than repenting, begging and feeling sorry for yourself. There is no point saying you feel guilty in order to keep her if deep down inside you don't. If you really felt cheating was wrong you wouldn't have done it. "Moment of weakness", that's just some bullshit. What you are doing is not letting her cheat. You are showing her that your love for her is greater than jealousy and possession, that you trust each other so much that nothing will come between your special bond you have. By showing no jealousy, anger you increase your attractiveness to her.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Cerberus Raphael is right. What you feel right now is your guilt, you made a mistake.
Why don't you talk to your wife and resolve some emotional issues you have with her instead of looking elsewhere...trust is very important in a relationship. As they say, it takes years to build up trust but only seconds to destroy it.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 If you both slept with other people in this marriage, that does not mean you two are even with each other, it only serves to tear this marriage apart even more. If she feels she wants to sleep with other men, then I suggest you get a divorce and save yourselves the trouble of arguing, feeling an almost intolerable sense of guilt, anger, abandonment and jealousy. You made a mistake and you should be trying your hardest to earn her trust back and make it up to her, that is assuming you do not want this to happen again and assuming you actually feel guilty for cheating on her.
I hope that helps.
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