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*hil3140
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months. She is an alcoholic . She is going to AA and had been dry for a month. After a period of 3 months where she was out of control. I am at my wits end because I have listened to the promises. Been calm and relaxed not tried to reason with her when she is drunk.However It is very hard and I feel like it's my fault that she is drinking . Now I have to go out when she has been drinking as I cannot take the torrent of verbal and physical abuse. The effort it takes me to get her not to drive in this state. I know it is a disease and when she is out she is on a bender . But I worry that she becomes so drunk she cannot function and something will happen to her.I need a support group. Can anyone help ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): Hi,I was once in a similar situation with a very attractive alchaholic woman, although I didn't live with her and we were only dating. Because of her alchoholism, she put me through hell. I tried to help her by calling AA myself. The words of the guy at AA were, dont even go there, it's her problem, not your's. Even so I still persisted in the relationship until she started to ruin the relationship with my daughter and friends. Thats when I called it a day.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2005): Do NOT blaim yourself for this, it is not your fault nor will it ever be, I know it can feel like it but its not.
Its hard giving advice to such a difficult situation. But have you tried contacting the AA group? There must be so many girlriends/boyfriends there that experience the same as you and need someone to talk to just as badly. If you cant do that I would suggest professional help of some kind. And if you cant do that either I must say I dont dare advice you much, as you say its a disease and some people get out of it, then again there are many who dont and end up ruining both their own life and the life of everyone closest to them.
If you see no improvement neither for you nor her over the next month or so, I think I'd try to get out. Maybe thats what she needs to sober up, most likely its just going to 'save' you though :/ Best of luck.
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