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I can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I cant stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend. We broke up in May, I haven't seen him or spoken to him since early June.

I dealt with the break up, the emotions and I got over it. I even stopped thinking about him. He broke up with me because it was long distance, both of us hit stressful times simultaneously on our own and we didn't communicate enough as we were afraid to "rock the boat" to keep the relationship healthy and functioning. Both of us were pretty immature at the time.

I've been dating great guys since, I'm seeing a new guy who is in many ways, better and more suitable than my old boyfriend. I am happier with my life and career since the breakup. I don't want to get back together with him. I don't really want to see him nor would I go out of my way to see him. I have absolutely nothing I want to say to him and I can't imagine what we would talk about thats not small talk. But a couple of weeks ago again I started thinking about him non-stop and I can't get him out of my head. I wonder what he's doing. I have this ridiculous drive to contact him and consciously I realize I dont want to and I dont have anything to say to him, but I feel like this need is haunting me, like, someone's almost pushing me to contact him and I'm trying very hard to resist. Anyone can relate?

View related questions: broke up, get back together, immature, long distance, my ex

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

sappygirl agony auntI can. I am struggling to get over a guy, and i want to call him so bad. I have to fight it everyday. I miss hearing his voice so much.

but the point is it was over for a reason. It didn't work out because either he didn't live up to your standards or because of other issues. i think what it is is we feel we failed in the relationship. Like if we just tried a little harder. or did something different. or maybe your relationship with your new boyfriend is getting boring..and you miss the drama that you had with your ex.

Whatever the case. Do not call. You are only asking for heartache.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Yes, I know what you're going through. It's weird to think, but it's like emotions come in these waves of not really caring/not having a need to speak to him, then to not being able to get him out of your mind and constantly wondering what he's up to. It will go away again with time, then the feeling might come back again.

I think that although you know in your mind that there's nothing to really say to him or really the "want" to speak to him--there's a part of you that still misses him and that connection you two had at one time. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders and know that there's no reason to speak to him and you're getting along better without him in your life. The feeling will pass, but I know that it can make you feel very anxious or stressed. Just occupy your time with work and doing the things you like. It will get better in time. The breakup is still pretty fresh; the last time you spoke to him was only two months ago, so it's only natural to have those feelings. But it looks like you're doing very well so far. :)

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A female reader, superrrshawna United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

superrrshawna agony aunti know where you are coming from. my boyfriend of 6 months and i broke up in may as well, and it was not easy. i'm talking to a couple great guys, but every once in a while he pops into my head.

we all know nothing good will come of talking to ex boyfriends, so just buckle up and don't do it!! if you reach for the phone with him in mind, call or text someone else just to get your mind off of things! if you are going to do it via laptop, get your behind away from it!

good luck!

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