A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What is wrong with me? i hate spending time with my friends...and i even avoid answering the phone incase its them. they're not mean to me, and i feel so sad about this. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): I used to be the same, in fact I still am at times. The reason being for me though was because I used to/still do love having time to myself, & as much as I loved my friends, nothing could beat my own quality time.
I used to think the same as you, that there was something wrong with me etc. My mom always used to comment about it too as I'd put it off going out with friends, or ignore their phone calls because I'd sooner stay in the house & do something by myself. Also, it made it worse when my best friend got her first boyfriend & that's all she'd talk about, so I tried avoiding her a little more.
Perhaps there's another reason with you. You say they're not mean to you, but maybe you don't like them as much as you say, perhaps you feel you don't fit in with them? There could be a few reasons.
Try & force yourself to answer the phone next time, try and hang out with them more & prove to yourself that you do actually enjoy spending time with them & don't want to ignore them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): Do you feel that you've in some ways 'outgrown' your friends? Do they continually nag you to do things with them even though you can't be bothered? Don't worry, I was in the same boat before I went to uni, and still feel a bit like you do with some of my friends. I think my feelings were due to what I've already mentioned and also they constantly want to talk to me all the time so I feel snubbed for doing my own thing. Good luck, you'll find people who share common interests :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing to fix, or feel guilty for. Those feelings are perfectly okay; it's okay to want to be alone and to give yourself what you want. Don't beat yourself up for the way you feel. Possibly you're an introvert, who feels emotionally drained after being with people for a while and needs time alone to recharge. Maybe you and your bubbly extrovert friend are wired differently.
If you WANT to socialize but feel like it's too much for you or something is blocking you, investigate... Write out how this makes you feel. (Writing is always a good exercise.) Why can't you stand them? What thoughts go through your head when you're with them? Do you feel like you have to pretend around them, put on a show - like you can't just be yourself? What would happen if you WERE your honest self around them - how would that scenario play out? Do they bore you? etc... Try to understand your feelings instead of judging them as wrong or right.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 It's understandable as you are at an age when you are finding yourself and figuring out what you like and don't like, etc. Having said that, we all need friends and people who can be there for us to love and support us, so it's not the best idea to push them away. Ask yourself why it is you don't like them.........if you take time and really analyze the situation, you will find a reason for trying to avoid them. Are they mean to others, are they dishonest, lazy, do they cheat and steal?? If you have a valid reason such as those mentioned then you are right to want to detach yourself from them and you should invest time into making new friends that share your core values and morals. If you find however, that you are being petty about something then try to work on yourself and overcome that:)
Hope this helps a bit hun............I wish you all the best
XOXO
P
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