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female
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**vicki**
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. when we first got together he used to download porn off the internet. it didnt really worry at first but after a few weeks it really started to bother me. i told him how i felt about it and he promised me he wouldnt do it again and cancelled all downloads and gave his discs to his mate. thing is even though this was 6 months ago i just cant forget the fact he used to. he has kept his promise to me so i dont know why im so worried and i trust him with my life. why cant i forget about it and move on?
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female
reader, Candycane1234  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 The same thing happened to me :( I tried to watch some with him but I think it made things worse, the thought of seeing him turned on by someone else mortifies me. It still gets to me today, when he wasn't horny he didn't want to watch it with me said it was a bit kinky yet when he was horny he said he would watch some if I wanted to. I feel like he was trying not to get turned on because I was watching him :( was he downloading girls that looked like you? because at the beginning he did and that made me feel better.
What about it bothers you? With me it's an attention thing because I don't mind the times he looked when he was thinking of me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): SassySarah are you crazy Why would any woman want to participate in something that encourages men to see women as a component of body parts. The women always look the same dont that typical porn s....s but the men can be as ugly as anything...Why is this ???Because porn is alll about telling lies about women. What real women look like, how they behave etc..It is degrading to EVERY woman...any woman who gets off on the degradation of some porn woman who made this choice because of her own issues has problems herself. Dont you realise that 90 percent + porn actresses were sexually abused as kids. How can anyone possibly believe that they are making a choice from a place of truth within themselve. The bottom line is most men dont give a crap. They dont care about these hurt little girls, or the hurt wives and gf who spend their lives never feeling good enough cause they dont live up to the image (and some men even tell them so) all they care about is their willes.
Just because some men act in this scummy way doesnt mean women have to stoop as low as to join them
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): i cant get my boyfriend to quit doing this because he doesnt understand y it bothers me. you should be happy that yours understands. I love mine way too much to dump him over this...we're still working it out
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): I don't know why you feel this way, dear. But I can make some suggestions. Maybe you have mistrustful fears about him slipping back into his old habits, perhaps? or...Maybe, knowing he did this, makes you feel undervalued, as a woman? or....Depending on your moral compass in life, maybe, you are experiencing some doubts about his character? The porn issue is a huge problem with a great deal of women and it does 'kill' a lot of relationships. There are plenty of waiting rooms, jam packed with couples dealing with this issue and I have never seen a relationship where a man's past/present porn habits have actually improved a truely loving, solid,long term relationship. Good for you, for not tolerating it in your relationship...you sound strong. I think you need to sit him down and really discuss how this past issue had deeply affected you. Perhaps you need more assurances and support from him. Do this calmly and lovingly. Let him know you trust him, if you do. If you don't trust him and think he might slide back...this needs to be discussed, as well. Keep the communication going and remember always do it respectfully. Good luck, dear
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female
reader, SassySarah +, writes (22 September 2006):
Have you tryed watching them with him ?
Most girls dont like it either but i know a few who have watched it with their partners and liked it. It got them both arroused and they had great fun.
Try it you might like it .
If not get over it he gave them up for you , that means your more important hunny enjoy that fact.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 I don't know why you can't move on from it but you really need to.
Your boyfriend did what you wanted he stopped doing it and respected your opinion on this so really you need to move on and realise although he was downloading porn you are far more important that he stopped for you.
There are plenty of men out there that wouldn't see why they should stop and wouldn't your one of the lucky ones concentrate on that not what he use to do.
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