A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently having problems with my sex life. I'm almost 20, and I've been with my boyfriend awhile now, but I can't feel any sexual pleasure. This isn't a "I don't feel sex" or "I don't feel it sometimes" It is Never. He is the first boyfriend I've ever told, and he is completely understanding and doesn't mind. But I mind. I've tried everything, masturbating, watching porn, clitoral stimulation, toys, etc... I feel nothing. I get aroused just fine, and I get really excited, but it is very anticlimactic to get so excited to feel nothing. My current boyfriend isn't the first I've had an intimate relationship with, each one I have loved very dearly and cared for very much. But this lack of complete feeling is hurting my emotional well being because I want to feel it very badly. When I don't it upsets me. I have a gynecologist appointment set up, but I'm scared to death that it's going to be something unfixable. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 July 2011):
 The "unfixable" part is quite doubtful, and perhaps you have become too anxious (as in trying too hard) to relax enough for sexual climax. I'm concerned that you claim no sexual pleasure at all. Such a situation is not unknown, however, and in fact, a sad majority of women worldwide reportedly never climax. The one thing you omit among your "tried everything" list is cunnilingus (oral stimulation to the vulva and clitoris) by a knowledgeable male partner. Your age could indicate to me that you have not met a man who knows how to please you in that fashion. Trust me, it can be like opening Pandora's box in a very good way . . .
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