A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my girlfriend for over three years now. She is a recovering alcoholic, and has been sober for 19 months. At EVERY function with her family, (bday, fundraiser, visit, etc) the entire family is drinking. Somewhat heavily i might add. She asks me to go to these things, but I can't stand them due to the fact that everytime theres an event, theres alcohol involved. I dont drink, and its almost impossible to relate being sober. I dont judge, but its really hard. Her family are mostly pretty rich. I have no college, etc, and they don't EVER involve me in anything at functions. Ive tried to explain these things to her, but she still says I need to be there with her etc. If i go, no one talks to me, theres nothing to talk about even after i try to start a convo, and everyones loaded but us. They dont invite me, and I feel a vibe from her family the second i walk in the door. WHAT do I DO!?!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): What you do is support her. She's recovering, the rest of her family are not. She's attending family functions out of duty or whatever. Has it occurred to you that she wants you there to reinforce *her* determination to stay sober, despite what must be almost overwhelming temptation to join in? Man, this isn't about *you*, it's about *her*. You're almost certainly right that no one there gives a crap about you. So what? She cares, she needs you to keep her grounded. Get over yourself and focus on her.
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