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female
,
anonymous
writes: I don't know how long this has been going on for but I know it's been a while. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. For the past couple of months I feel like I've been crazy. I can't control my jealousy. I fear that he looks at other females and think that they are better than me or that they are prettier than me. I can't stand it. i hate the feeling I get when it happens too. I've been trying and trying to control it and to get over it but it just pops back up in my head. Help
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female
reader, stevie jade  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 I know how you feel,im just the same.But the thing is weve gotta think hes with us not them.Hes chose you.All lads look at girls and some of us get offended but were worrying ova nufin! Think 2 urself y r u laking confidence in urself so much? Every1 is special and has something special about them,your bf loves you, and sees that little bit of something in you, dont worry.Begin to have confidence in yourself,and these feelings will be gone.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 It sounds like your jealousy is coming from insecurity, so the route to making the jealousy go away is to focus on that. You are worried that other women are prettier and better than you. The way past that is to realize that you are a good person, and a pretty one. Then when you see them you will not fear them so much.
This is a hard thing to do. Insecurity often comes from early childhood and it can take a lot as an adult to unlearn this bad mental habit. If you can, you might want to get councelling or therapy of some sort. A trained therapist will be able to help you.
There are some good web sites and books out there that you might find helpful. Try looking at this page... the whole site has many useful articles about overcoming insecurity and low self esteem:
http://www.coping.org/growth/security.htm
This book is also very good...
Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem, by Marilyn Sorenson
You can buy it from Amazon
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