A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling very sad and low at the moment and can't shake out of it.This man I have been seeing (who has always been quite unreliable) hasn't contacted me for a week. He does go through phases where he contacts me a lot and then disappears but it is the not knowing that hurts the most!When we saw each other last we had a heart to heart discussion about his ex who I know he still has feelings for (and is probably still seeing) - but I don't mind as long as he keeps in touch with me!I really want to call and find out what's happening - but then I don't want to be seen doing all the running!Will he be in touch? I can't bear all this waiting around!
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female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (26 March 2009):
he knows you are there but you cant live your life waiting on somebody else or to be there back up plan what sort of life is that for you? its not a real relationship if your not both in it and i think deep down you know his heart is elsewhere. its hard and i know you want to know but do whats best for you, its not a waiting game and your worth more than holding on for a 'possibility'. you have talked and shared a lot but i think youve taken it in different ways. Carry on with your life, start enjoying yourself, move on and if he really is genuine then he'll come looking for you. until then find yourself and who you really are and alos take into account what you want from the relationship, whats your ideal man why not write a list of what you really want and need, a figure you need in your own lifw right now, take a look at the list i dont even know you or him but i doubt very much his qualities lay on that list. Focus on some 'me' time for a while, he wants space so give it him in the mean time find your space and sort your head and your future. best of luck xxx
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 March 2009):
 None of the advisors on this website can tell you if he will be in touch or not. However, whatever I am going to tell you is that this man is probably contributing to your depressive symptoms and it doesn't matter if he calls or not. Only you can turn around your life situation and switch off your feelings for a man who doesn't deserve you. This man doesn't seem to be offering what you want - a real relationship. I wouldn't chase him, but I would start thinking long and hard about what you want from life. You could waste years on this man hoping he will come around to a proper relationship only to end up bitter and resentful if he leaves for good. You have to remind yourself that YOU are in charge of YOU, and YOU deserve a nice life. Your mood should not be wholly dependent on the whims of a man who doesn't seem to respect you or care enough to pick up the phone unless it suits him. Surely you deserve better from life? Stop waiting by the phone for him to call and start thinking about how nice life could be without his influence. The first step is to start building an independent life that is centred around him. Good luck.
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