A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, I dated a guy for four months last Spring/Summer. I ended up breaking up with him because I was afraid. I felt a lot of electricity at first and then it didn't seem like he was willing to budge on some things and I was being stuborn as well. I was starting a new job soon and decided it might be better to break things off. Anyway, Throughout the year we have spoken on the phone as "friends". I've missed him and thought of him. The last time I spoke to him on the phone in March he suggested we meet up sometime. I was hesitant and scared and said sure maybe and never got back to him; I've been going through a lot of life transitions- moving, etc... I spoke with some friends about him and spilled my guts. I got curious and looked at his facebook and noticed his status went from single to in a relationship a few weeks ago. I felt so sick to my stomach. I wrote a letter and kept it on my computer and never sent it. Anyway, I received a random phone message from him about a week later- him wondering how I was and telling me to call sometime. I called the next afternoon and spoke for a few minutes. He was at someone's house and would call back later that night. Well, he did call later and we spoke for around 45 minutes - about life-- then I asked him if anything was new and he admitted he had been dating someone for a while and would just see how it went. She had pursued him on the Internet and he decided to reply after a few times. He said she liked similar music. Anyway, this was ripping me apart inside but I said nothing. I finally decided to revise my letter and sent it to him. He wrote me back several days later saying that he enjoyed the time we were together and it took him a long time to move past it. He was not mad at me and thought I was a great person- he was better for know me and that I could talk to him any time I wanted.I told him I would try to call later this week; he said good.Advice please; what is he thinking?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): He's thinking that he tried having a relationship with you but it obviously didn't work out because you ended it. He's moved on and got into a new relationship but he has no objection whatsoever to remaining friends with you. However, that's all it would be - a friendly meeting or a friendly phone call here and there. Don't get your hopes up because I'm thinking he won't want to be any more than a friend - which is good because there's enough anger and bitterness in the world as it is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): What is he thinking? Im sorry to say that this man has moved on and is wanting to be with other people.You are just a friend now and he doesnt sound as though he wants to be anything more with you.You need to try and move on.If you cannot deal with him moving on then I suggest taking a break from talking to him for a while then try and go back talking to him and see how you feel then.If you cannot deal with that then I can only suggest stop talking to him altogether.
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A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 He clearly wanted you from the start and he wanted to be with you even when you finished him and started messing him around (not meeting him when you said you would etc) He wouldnt have carried on calling if he didnt still want you. He probably still has feelings for you but grew tired of waiting around and been let down by you and so pursued it with this other girl, and who can blame him?? Its about time you moved on with life too.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (17 June 2009):
 what was he thinking about what hun? you broke it off hes not your man sorry to say. but he has every right to date other women you let him go. did you think he would wait for you? thats not how men are. theres always a chance you two can get back together if hes being as nice as you says he is. but you cant be upset w/him dating other people.
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