I was with this guy for a year and three months. We met where I had my first job, we were from the same batch of new hires. He instantly caught my eye. He was too cute, in many ways he was never aware of and he was mysterious. He was quite the quiet type. The first time we went out, we instantly know we like each other. We were inseperable ever since.We would eat together, chat in the office endlessly, we would talk about our dreams, our problems, everything under the sun. And then we got together. He said I love you. And so did I. It was the best moment of my life. We were even more inseparable ever since. We would go out with our friends, his cousins, his brothers and sisters. I met his family, he met mine. We instantly had an extended family. His siblings like me very much. We would go out of town, spend the weekend off together with each other and be at our happiest. Until I resigned from my work and left him alone in the office. (And me unemployed)At first, we were able to manage. In fact, I think it made us see the differences that we had and then we started planning on how to make things work for our future. It helped us appreciate every time we see each other (I live 4 hours away from him so we basically see each other on weekends and sometimes, I stay at his grandparents' place where he also live). We even went on an Asian tour together with my family last April and he would occasionally surprise me with flowers or a fancy dinner at a hotel. We would still go out together with his cousins, his family, catch a movie together, try new restaurants and simply take a stroll on malls. It was bliss. I started looking for work again together with his sister, he would pay for everything that I need, travel expenses, food and all. I would spend an entire week with his family. We would sleep together and be happy about it.Until the point that we always fought came. I stayed home more often. I suddenly missed everything that we do together, the dinner dates, the weekends off. We would fight and I would break up with him but eventually, get back together again. It became a routine, we fight for the same reasons, break up, get together. At those points were we break up, seeing each other again would cause us to patch things up. Then when he leaves, I become anxious. I demanded a lot--- of him not having time (he works in a night shift) and he easily sleeps even on the verge of fighting. I was hurt. I felt like I wasn't his priority anymore. The situation aggravated when he ventured into a business and worked two jobs at a time. He would work in the office and sell cars on the side. I grew tired of him neglecting me and then I provoked him to break up (I didn't leave him a choice) and I said I'm never coming back. I said a lot, that I wished he'd be miserable and that he dies. I was sooo furious that's why I said that. I regret it. I realized my mistakes. That I should have been more understanding, less demanding and more loving. After three days, I wanted him back again--- I begged and said that I realized my mistakes and then he said, "No" and that he needs time to think. He said he needs to think on how he can avoid hurting me. He was going thru a lot. Our break up, his grandparents migrating to Italy, his two jobs and how he wants to quit the other. He was tired of his life. And then again, he said he needs time.I asked him, "Will you come back? Should I wait? Because I want to know if I still need to..." And he said, "Move on with your life, we need to grow", problem he's seeing if what if I'm already gone if he's ready. I said, I will wait for him until there's nothing more to wait for. Wait until I can no longer wait, and that I wish him happiness and that he finds his peace and chase his dreams. I lied. I wanted him back. But then, I had no choice. His parting words were, "Someday, you'll understand. You will always be my Babe. Always remember that I love you."My heart is officially shattered into pieces. HELP ME. I don't know what to do. I want to wait until he find the answers to his questions yet I can't afford another heartache if he doesn't come back. I was certain about him and I love him with all that I am. Everything I see here at home and everything I do reminds me of him. I'm sooo depressed and I pray that God give me the courage to wait and move on at the same time. I'm trying to find comfort in the saying that God has given me this for a purpose. :(
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reader, kpmp +, writes (20 November 2010):kpmp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry. Thank you though.
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reader, kpmp +, writes (20 November 2010):kpmp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010):you have behaved in a cruel and very hurtful way. How spiteful to tell a person you wish them dead. Learn some empathy and humility. Life is not all about you. Learn how to negotiate like a mature person. Not have tantrums and petulant behavior.
It would take a person a long time to forgive such behavior. your cruel words were a form of domestic violence.
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