A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Thanks before hand for any answers.I've posted before about the situation i am in. But things have changed. So chatting to some guy for about 2 months, known him for like 3 years, we have like a online realtionship, you know the one, staying up for hours, sending pikz, skype, we chat about everything, and literally talk for hours, 12 hours sometimes. So i was really confused as what we were coz we have already had something in the past, then started talking again, and i just didnt know where i stood with him. I really wanted to ask him but i was scared, but i finally got a little tipsy and asked him, it went something like this,I dont want to sound clingy here, but i need to know where we stand, i am confused, i like you a lot and you told me you like me and we bin talking loads, i just want to know where we stand. I dont want to get to personal if your going to be doing it with other girls on line ( by that i mean fone sex pikz etc, yes i no thats kinky but its wat we do) If you say we just friends then thats cool! I just want to know.So his reply was..right....here goes.....Like i said in the pub that time, i aint able to get into a serious relationship now or any kind of "committed" relationship for that matter. Its not you you have to understand, as bullshit as that sounds, i swear. it's very complicated, i'm just going through a lot of shit right now and i would be a LOUSY boyfriend, trust me. i know that this whole thing is not fair to you, if you are indeed looking for something more than "fun" yourself. I am also not saying that nothing could, or will not happen, but i wouldn't in any way expect you to wait around for me all your life.You know i like you a lot, but i'm not in a position right now for anything serious. in conclusion, i have no idea what this is between us, other than we do it a lot, so there must be a certain degree of enjoyment, from the both of us. If that's not good enough for you, then i completely understand that, i do; it is in no way fair to you if you want more. i do like you loads and loads though!!!!I just said ok and left it. But i want to know wat the hell that means. Do i wait, do i see other people, can i be bothered if he starts to see other people! omg i am so confused!Please Help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Hmm...I think what this means is what he says: he isn't in a position to date seriously right now, but obviously enjoys your company and friendship. He has made it clear that if you want more than this you may have to wait a while, but has also (very kindly) said that if you don't want to wait around for him then he won't mind if you move on but he hopes you stay friends.
So it's all up to you isn't it? Do you want to move on and date other guys or are you willing to wait and give him some time?
But one thing's for sure; he's a damn decent bloke and you should at least stay friends! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): I think this is sad for you. I can't imagine wasting 12 hours of my life let alone 12 minutes having a "fun relationship of phone sex and virtual sex" even if it includes "talking" with a guy and then "wondering" where I stood with him.
You have NOTHING with him. OK. He likes saving money on dates, and he is lazy and he likes using you to get off from the comfort of his own home.
How sad of a life is that for anyone?
Why you even think this man is relationship material is beyond me, and I hope you can do something more healthy and productive with your time, I really do.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Hi. As its an online thing you dont really know whats going on in his life. It sounds as if he might not be free. Hes saying hes `not able` to get into a serious relationship with you, things are `complicated` and its not `fair` on you. Hes saying if you want more than `fun` which is all it is to him, then you should look elsewhere, because hes not in a `position` to have more with you. Hes clearly got someone.
As it is, he enjoys chatting, the pictures you send and the phone sex you do with him. But what guy wouldnt? That alone....which seems to be all you have with him....doesnt make him special. So if you are looking for a proper relationship with a guy, best end things with this one and find someone who can commit to you.
This guy is just having the `fun` he spoke of... with you. Hes tried letting you know its not worth waiting around for him but he cant bring himself to be decent and end things, because he enjoys the sex stuff and chats. So hes feeding you a few half baked hints about the future to keep you hanging on. While also telling you not to wait around for him? Hes not making a lot of sense is he? Thats because hes talking BS. Hes with someone. And i hazard a guess you arent the only one hes doing this stuff with. All the best
...............................
A
female
reader, nicegirl10  +, writes (5 January 2010):
I feel that he just wants sex with you. He does not want a serious relationship at the moment. Or he could already have a girlfriend wanting something on the side.
Humm things are complicated with this guy. Always think of the worse situation. Maybe he has 2 girls pregnant already? I mean this could be anything going on in his life. You could still talk to him and get to know him. But yes I would talk to other guys. This is nothing serious he is just calling it fun. I wouldn't get to attached to the guy. This is basically just playing with a females emotions. I wouldn't let myself fall in love with him and get hurt because that could easily happen in this situation.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
This is a man's way of saying you're a great girl, but at this moment he is not looking or a girlfriend, all he is looking for is sex. So if all you want is sex, then by all means continue with him, because he's been honest and has not tried to hide what he wants. If you're looking for more, it won't happen because he doesn't want a girlfriend. So if you do fancy him a lot, I'd recommend you move on so you don't get hurt.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): What is there to be confused about? He enjoys chatting with you (and what you call "pikz and fone sex") And he is not looking to have a relationship with you.
You are free to move on.
If you want to try it, try not speaking to him for a week or so and see if he reacts. But looks like he's getting all he wants out of this "relationship". He does not sound like he wants more.
May even have a regular girlfriend, who knows.. He is saying his life is messy.
...............................
|
