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I am scared to lose him!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2008)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

me and this guy really like each other but were not going out at the moment because he is under massive stress having to do with a very, very bad childhood and now he is having to deal with some issues. but he has assurred me that he does like me very much and he wants to be with me. oh yea, by the way, im 15 and he is 17. and he has also had a lot of trust issues as in he rarely ever trusts anyone. [this is another reason he is hesitant about being in a relatonship. his past few girlfriends have cheated on him and screwed him over] but the other day, he told me i am one of the few people he actually trusts. and hearing this from him, i was super happy.

so basicaly, long story short, he had to move back in with his mom to get his drivers licence again. so he is now about two hours away and i have been missing him greatly. [he was staying at my house before he had to leave, so i was able to see him all the time] however, we have been talking on the phone for at least three hours everyday.

i have recently realized that i have completely fallen in love with him, and i am scared to lose him. so i just wanted to know, how can I make him go crazy without me? like, how can i make him scared to lose me?

thank you in adavance

and i look forward to reading your replies!

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A female reader, buddys Canada +, writes (24 January 2008):

buddys agony auntYou know, I had a rough childhood too. My parents divorced, they used to fight horribly, and one of them had anger issues and a drinking problem. As a result, I had troubles dating throughout my teen years. I always picked the wrong guys and they always cheated on me, leaving me with trust issues as well. It wasn't until my mid-twenties that I finally sought professional help for it, and it did wonders. I am a completely different person now.

So what I'm trying to say here, is that if this guy's issues are causing him this much stress, he probably will need some sort of professional help to find the resolution. But he needs to realize that on his own. All you can do is be supportive, and if you're still there at the end of it all, he'll realize how much you care. Hopefully he will appreciate it and will care equally about you.

Another point to ponder is that you're still young. I know that's not what you want to hear, but trust me, your mind will change about your 'ideal relationship' 1000 times in the next 10 years. So don't get too hung up on this now. Enjoy the time you have, as it is right now.

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A female reader, Serinity United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

Serinity agony auntIt sounds like he is under enough stress. If you love him so much, why would you want to cause him anymore stress by scaring him about losing you? That seems kind of selfish don't you think? The best way to keep this guy interested in you is to be there for him. Don't threaten him or scare him or you will just be another person he doesn't trust. Be sympathetic to his situation. When he's feeling down and out ask him if there's anything you can do to help. Let him know that you care about him. Be nice to him. Since you guys are 2 hours apart now, send him letters and words of encouragement. What he needs right now is a friend to see him through this difficult time and believe me, if you are that friend he will appreciate and respect you beyond belief. You won't have to scare him into wanting to be with you because he'll want to be with you more than anything. Good luck sweetie, I hope it works out for both of you. God bless!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

im in a similiar situation but the only difference is ive been with my guy for a year in a half..and what i realized is that u have to let them chase u and make them want u as bad as u want them..ya i know its hard to not call them, trust me i kno but sometimes u just gotta flip the script on them.

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