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female
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anonymous
writes: i am really scared to loose my virginity i am 14 and 2 months so the time will come in the next few years. i am really worried. most of my friends have had sex beofore and they say it really hurts, they say when the skin breaks (cherry pops) it kills. most people say they screamed it was that painful if you bleed hou long does it last? will i be in as much pain as this. my boyfriends penis is quite large and i am petrified i dont want to be in pain i will end up been a virgin till im 40 if i go on like this, ANY HELP!! HELP NEEDED!! IM SCARED!! thanks x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 June 2006):
 Dr Psych speaks the truth (Thank you, Dr!)
First-time sex isn't as painful as that. Your friends are riling you up and exaggerating. I would characterise the sensation as more "uncomfortable", than painful. And you may not even have a hymen to break, if you're reasonably physically active. So put your fears to rest.
The important point to make here is that, when you're actually ready to have sex, it won't seem so daunting to you. In a few years, you might actually look forward and _want_ sex; that's when you start considering it, not before! The fact that you're this worked up and scared tells me that you're *not* ready for sex yet. So don't have sex and don't worry about it.
Ignore the advice of your "friends" and don't feel pressured to pretend you're ready when you're not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006): Why are you so desperate to lose your virginity. Peer pressure methinks....keeping up with the Jones's. Leave it until you know what real love is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006): She couldnt have said any better. Save youself for marriage girl. Its something special that you should have with someone you love, not with some teenage boy who only cares about getting into your pants and not about you, oh and yes thats all they think about now and they'll say anything to get into your pants. You should be having fun innocent fun. Dont let the pressure of having sex get to you. Most of your friends are lying to you. They just go along because they dont want to be left behind. Really there is no need to worry. Why would you want to get into a mess and risk yourself from getting pregnant or even getting an std! Think about it! I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 It is really normal to be scared of losing your virginity at 14 as most people of your age, or any age for that matter are a little concerned about it. Remember that the age of consent is 16 under the law for a reason! Your friends are telling big fat porky pies (lies) about being sexually active and exaggerating stories about losing virginity either for attention or because they are none the wiser. Peer pressure makes teens say they are doing it when they havent.
Sure it hurts a little bit because virgins have a hymen in their vaginas which is a bit of skin that is broken during first intercourse. Sometimes they bleed a small bit and it stings. However, lots of girls lose their hymens through exercise etc well before their first sexual encounter. As for your BF's penis - well it doesn't matter if you think he has a huge one because you dont need to be thinking about intercourse right now. It is nicer to wait until you are really comfortable with the idea of having sex, rather than just doing it to keep up with your mates.
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