A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI am scared of being alone and always desperately trying to be in a relation even though my ex-bfs never treated me right. I know the problem should be with me, since i was always been treated as a doormat. I am currently dating a guy whom i am really not attracted to, but compliments me so much that i started seeing him. After 2 weeks of going out with him, now he started avoiding me.I really dont want to rush into another relationship now. I am not sure why i lose control and say "yes" to anyone who ask me out. Please help me, i really dont like the way my life is going right now.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 You've already admitted to being this way, you know what is going on, all you have to do now is stop focusing on being in a relationship and start focusing on being happy as a single woman. When someone asks you on a date, politely tell them no. If someone compliments you, thank them and move on. Get used to being alone so that YOU can choose the right person for you, you can choose when to say yes and no.
If you find yourself saying yes to someone you don't want to say yes to, politely apologize and tell them that it was a mistake and you meant to say no. It might sting them a little bit and confuse them but they'll get over it. The goal here is getting used to saying no, eventually you'll say no before you make that mistake.
There's nothing wrong with being single. Its better than being in a relationship you're not particularly fond of. No matter what, try and stop yourself from saying yes when people ask you out. No matter how afraid you are, tell yourself that its okay to be single, good and healthy sometimes, especially in your case. Don't be scared of it.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, Jac2b55  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Hey there,being alone can be a scary thing. After fourteen years of being in relationship it is exactly where i have found myself.I have a feeling though that perhaps the reason why your relationships are not working is because you are not comfortable with your own company.Sometimes doing things that are hard can be what leads us to happiness.I would suggest you give up men for a while and start 'dating' yourself. Start doing things you enjoy, things that malke you feel good about yourself. Once you love yourself and enjoy your own company, i am confident that you will only attract and accept men that feel the same way about you.
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