A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Well firstly, I’m not sure if it is my insecurities that are making me feel like this, but I’m really starting to worry about my boyfriend when he goes away to work. He works on boats, which means two weeks with me and two weeks away.Well firstly he has made me feel a bit insecure because he mentioned an article he was reading while he was a work in a man’s magazine. He didn’t say anything about the women. But it really upset. I just don’t understand why he’s with me when he looks at them. He said it was just left lying around but he would never buy any himself and that he doesn’t look at women the way he looks me. Secondly, when he came back this time he told me about a new man that had started working with him and that they get on really well. He explained to me they went food shopping together and when they were at the checkout his friend kept looking at the girl that worked at the till. My boyfriend then accompanied the new worker back to the shop looking for her the next day! Because he was certain she fancied him and so my boyfriend tagged along. I’m really starting to worry that my boyfriend is going to be influenced by his new work colleague. I know he doesn’t believe in cheating, when he found out his cousin had cheated on her boyfriend he was devastated/disgusted. But while he’s away it just gives me time to ponder over things and worry and I just can’t seem to stop myself. I’ve nearly broken up with him a couple of times because of silly things he’s said (he has a tendency t say things without thinking).Thank you for reading
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 If he was doing anything he shouldn't be doing he wouldn't be telling you the things he's telling you. He would be secretive and closed mouthed about what happens at work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): I can understand where you are coming from, have you been hurt before?
Usually if you have been burnt in a previous relationship it will make react like this. Or even if there was no trust in a previous relationship.
Your question will relate to so many women who also wonder if their boyfriends really are the nice guys that they appear to be, or are they just really good at pretending?
The fact of the matter here is that you need to have some faith in your boyfriend until he gives you a reason not to trust him, the fact that he is keeping you informed of his excursions with his colleague is a good thing, just show him that you trust him.
Maybe sit down and express your view on certain things and see his reactions, let him know that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed and what you tolerate in a relationship.
At least that way if he knows your feelings towards certain things he will know not to do anything that might land him in trouble with you. But for now give let it lie until an issue arise's :) Chin up, you sound like have you have a nice guy there :)
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