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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i am a 16 year old gurl and i love my boyfriend to death he is 17 years old....he treats me so good but i fight with him all the time over little things..... i dont know why i fight with him he doesnt do anything to make me mad but i push him away and yell at him for no reason...... things was going so good intil the day we had sex then after that i am just really moody with him, i dont know why it may be because the last guy i loved i was with him 3 and a half years and then he treated me bad and hurt me in so many ways and i dont want to get hurt again?.....or it could be because i maybe pregnet with his baby? can somebody please give me advice b4 i end up breakin up with him and hurting him for no reason? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (10 February 2006):
 Stop right there, you need to step back and look at what you have wrote, you love this guy but when you had sex it all went wrong, that tell me that you were not ready for a full on sexual relationship with him and that you did not take precautions and possibly you were not the instigator of the sex, did you feel pressurised or just not ready ?
You had a relationship with your last bloke for 3.5 years that made you about 12years old when you started seeing him and tells me that you must have come out of one bad relationship into this one, maybe a little rebound problems here, this maybe why you are not so settled with this guy in the sexual sence, is he your first sexual partner or did you have sex with the other bloke, and if so did you enjoy it!
You are moody with your bloke as a defence mechanism, my guess you instigate a mood or fight just to ensure you dont have sex, am I on the right track?
We all get hurt lots as we go through life, it is part of growing up and getting to know who we are and about life, love and loss, you will get hurt many times before you find mr right, unless you are a really lucky girl, the pain goes away and then you move on, but I suspect you moved on too fast.
Last thing that worries me is that you may be pregnant, find out and soon, this will need facing and decisions making if in fact you are pregnant, if you are you need to either talk to mum if this is an option, certainly discuss with bloke to see were he sees himself in this, and go to an advisory service like Brook so they can discuss your options with you and if you are not pregnant they can talk to you about contraception and STD`s.
A
female
reader, Listerning Angel +, writes (10 February 2006):
Those last few words in your problem is all you really need to keep in your mind '' Before i end up without him or hurting him for no reason '' You must keep telling yourself those words becasue one day he is going to get fed up with what you are putting him through. Partners that treat you right don't come by very often. SO while you have one hold on to him for as long as you can. I pushed my BF away and he was an angel to me. And when he was gone, well let me tell you that broken heart feeling is the most worst feeling i have ever felt my felt in my life, i would not want you to experience that. I couldn't eat or sleep i cried day after day, it hurt so much. LUCKY for me though after a year we got back together and I never have shouted at him once since we have been back cause i learned my lesson the hard way. If you feel a rage comming on just think what it would be like apart from him and then think do you want to experience that, then take a deep breathe and count to ten. I feel that the reason you do this is that you fear getting hurt again. Thats why i done it myself. But you getting there before he hurts you is not worth throwing away all that special stuff that you have right now. If you think that you could be pregnant i really would get yourself tested because that is something else the too of you need to sort out together. And if you are, then you really must stop being like you are to him for the little ones sake, don't bring the child up with rows and fights, because its really unhealthy for him or her.
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