A
male
age
18-21,
Chetz
writes:hey everyone, i'm sure you have come across this question many times by now, and i'm sure that some of you could actually help me.I have a problem, a socializing problem, and its getting on my nerves. a lot of close people think i'm boring and to be honest, i feel like i am boring myself. i can talk, but only if i'm not scared and only if i have enough confidence. i am a libran, and they usually say that librans are the ones that are always in their own world and that they socialise only when they need to. its entirely true coz i am like that. i want to change it.I've actually told a girl that i liked her, she said its ok, we could try to work it out, but she said she needed someone with a little more, fun in their life, five months after i confessed my liking for her. i also recently got rejected by a girl i was deeply in love with coz i was not her type, the fun type is what she wanted. so now i wanna change, but its so difficult, i find it hard to start a conversation, coz i get all nervous around people. i can't even think properly when i'm around girls. my self esteem is also really low. what should i do? any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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confidence, self esteem, socializing problem Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (10 December 2007):
 Whoa!
You don't acquire self esteem by pretending to be someone else. You acquire self esteem by realizing your potential, by being yourself. What are your interests? What are your talents? Take them to the next level. As you develop your abilities in them, you will also develop confidence.
Acting like a rebel will attract drama queens and bitches. Is that what you want? They're exhausting. I did not hang out with many females much until I was in my mid-twenties because so many of them are such a drag. Do yourself a favor and stay away from them.
You want to attract a confident woman that is at peace with herself. Women like that are not attracted to posers, though.
Do not look outside yourself; look within. You can intensify the real you by developing your real interests.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): believe my friend, most girls are bitches.what they're actually telling you is you've gotta be a rebel and be funny and look cooler.though you may not want to, if you want a girl without having to wait ages, just be more daring, break rules and the law if you have to, try and be the one that standsout.I had the same problem as you but as soon as i started being more of a rebel i got more attention from girls.good luck x
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A
male
reader, omon  +, writes (9 December 2007):
 take yourself out more often...you would see what you are missing and learn the hard way...dats the only way you would appreciate outspokenness.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (9 December 2007):
 First of all, make sure you want to change for yourself before you think about changing for others to like you. Over coming shyness takes a little practice. People who are shy tend to give themselves fewer chances to practice social behaviors. The more practice you have, the less shy you'll be. Take baby steps. Little by little try talking to others...make small talk. You have to accpet that ts OK to feel awkward. Even people who are outgoing can feel a little awkward about things. IF you like a girl then talk to her and ask her out, whether the answer is yes or no- its out of your control. If you dont ask, then you'll never get a date. So my advice to you is to take step by step and socialize with people and maybe even hang out with them and have some of their fun. Teach them whats fun for you and they can teach you a bit. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): Take a deep breath, and make a resolution to be more outgoing.
Hang out with your friends, laugh loudly, smile!, talk about movies, find a favorite band or listen to some new music, paint, draw, buy new clothes in bright colors, talk to at least 3 strangers every day, compliment your friends, flirt! be prepared to laugh at yourself, and always keep a positive attitude. You'll do fine!!
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