A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi right i've got a problem with people on my course. We all used to get on great especially me and the ones i'd only just met on that course-theres some there from school too. But suddenly like a few months ago they started just generally being nasty to me and making me feel unwanted, and over time i thought it would wear off but it never did. There was two occasions where i got very upset over it and our tutor found out. she reckoned with it all starting suddenly it was just them trying to grow up and have fun but i wasn't finding it funny. Then about a month ago now one of my other friends had found out why they did this to me. It was casue i'm different and don't fit in so i'm an easy target and apparently the whole group hates me! So he came with me to tell our tutor, she understood and said although theres nothing we can do if they don't like you they have to get on with you. There's only afew people out of the course that hasn't aimed anything at me verbally except this lad who so many signs were given that he likes me and still afew are but then again i can still find reasons why the stuff he did or said that made me think he liked me was him just being friendly becasue he is a generally nice person. So i honestly don't know with him anymore. Although he's never said anything nasty to me and always helps me in class as well as staring at me a lot he does laugh along with the others sometimes. I need to get on with them for the sake of enjoying it there, we are all one group so don't mix with any others and don't know anyone else so theres no one else i can hang around with and even if there was that would juts cause more problem. When they say these things to me i just don't know of a come back or anything and if they know it bothers me then they do it even more. i did wonder if it started becasue one perosn in that clas has known me since i was little and she does get very jealous and apprently from what this other friend found out she feels quite guilty. I just don't know what to do!
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): am sorry for what these people are doing to you. It is never easy being a teen and singled out for teasing and scorn. They are very, very wrong and what is to be gained by their cruel behaviors? I wish people that do this sort of thing, would remember how easily it could be them suffering through this.. The guy who has reached out to you, is doing a brave thing although he is insecure and has no faith in himself, to take a stand against them for treating you this way.
Let's face it, dear. They are the broken ones, not you. Hurting other people who are different and wonderfully individual, is not the sort of experience that they need to inflict on someone, in order to grow into being productive, happy adults. What does this behavior say about them as people.? It says they derive a fake, very superficial pleasure in belittling another human being. So, you can take this experience and allow it to take you down or you can rise up above their level and be a person of compassion and make a promise never to do this to another. People who put other's down, to feel good about themselves are to be pitied, not revered. You aren't missing much here, dear--you don't need these people to be your friends, do you.
From now on I want you to some things that may help you feel better. Firstly, go to this course and do your work...do the best you can do. In fact, ace them all on the course. When they ignore you, you sit and study, or read a good book that makes you happy, on break. Fill your mind up with fun and positive things. Secondly, smile nicely at everyone you make eye contact with -even the kids that have been labeled you. Thirdly, next time you hear a stupid or cruel remark, just smile, roll your eyes and think of them as little pesky gnats, who don't deserve a reaction because really this type of behavior shows what kind of perople they truely are. Fourthly, when they get out of hand, discreetly keep always reporting their behavior to the teacher. Take a stand. You deserve to be respected. Fifthly, if you have other friends, focus on them and work hard to be a kind, compassionate friend with them. and build a solid bond. And lastly, never spread gossip or cruel remarks about others. Being this way says you are person with goodness and integrity.
We can't do a lot about the bad behaviours of people in this world but believe me, if any of them have a conscience, they will understand someday, when they are parents and their kids is being bullied, just how painful that really is. Take the focus off them and focus on your success in life and believe in yourself.
|
