A
female
age
41-50,
*doremouse
writes:Dear Cupid,I don't know where to begin with this one. I'm in love with this guy I've known for years. I know he has strong feelings for me as he admits this much but he has never wanted to go further. We have traveled the world together and been very close. I cut him off for a time because I couldn't take the limbo. But we are recently talking again, but I am worried that it will be a repetition of the same old thing.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, adoremouse +, writes (9 March 2008):
adoremouse is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah. Maybe he's not 'relationship material'?
But the flattery and all that make me feel like he's playing games with me.
I thank you for you considerate answers, and I agree: a firm answer is required! It's just been my experience that when push comes to shove he says "no" Maybe I need to stop making time in my life for crazy guys!
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Sorry I mean FIRM answer!
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (9 March 2008):
You just need a form answer, it sounds like you don't know where you stand.
He flatters you and talks to you like a princess, but won't have a relationship with you.
Does he just like having you there, without having to commit to anything?
Does he like having the friendship, and maybe it's filling a little bit of a hole a lack of a relationship might be leaving in his life?
Either way, like I said, you need a concrete answer.
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A
female
reader, adoremouse +, writes (9 March 2008):
adoremouse is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRe: Starfairy, I don't know. He speaks in worshipful terms about me. In the past when I have asked him what I am to him, his reply is "a goddess" How can such an answer be so equally unhelpful?
It may be low self-esteem, coupled with emotional issues. Is there a way past this? Or are we both just wishful fantasies to each other?
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (9 March 2008):
Basically, you need to be straight with him. He has feelings for you, you have feelings for him. So why can't you be together? If he just wants friendship, and you can't handle only friendship, you have to tell him you can't see him, and get over him.
I would be curious to know why he doesn't want a relationship with you?
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