A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been going out for going on two year now, and I can't, for the life of me, think of things to talk with her. It is frustrating for both myself and for her. Just yesterday, I called her to talk about why she had been ignoring me and avoiding me, and it summed up to her feeling that I'm, simply, not there enough for her (in the sense that when we're alone, I don't say anything to her). I keep trying to think of things, I simply have nothing, that has any substance, to say. What are somethings we could talk about? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): 1. You can talk about what her favorite things to do to pass time.
2. Things she likes to eat/drink.
3. Whats her favorite sports.
4. Talk about what she wants to do in the future, with you and goals.
5. If she has any hobbies.
6. Talk about you're fears, rememeber to ask her whats her fear.
I have a girlfriend and i ran out things to say too, so im in the same situation as you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): I agree that communication is very important, but it seems to me that you are maybe putting too much pressure on your self. You could suggest to her going out together even just for a walk somwhere with beutiful scenery, it may help you to relax. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): A huge part of an intimate relationship is communication in every degree. If the basics aren't even there, then most likely, you two aren't too compatible in the first place. Let's say she doesn't talk much and you don't talk much - now, is that because you two are shy, and if you are, isn't that just another way of saying you two aren't right for each other? Second, if you two don't talk because you really have nothing to talk about, then that's the thing, you two don't even have the basic connection.
Even when people date for awhile, things smooth off, and there is less to talk about, but never NOTHING to talk about. Eg: I could at least talk with my gf every night about something - something about her day, her thoughts, her dreams, and something about my day, my thoughts, and my dreams, etc. Even if it's for 15 minutes to half an hour.
You don't even have to talk every night. A good night call, and some sweet dream hopefuls will do as well.
The thing is, talking is just one medium that stems from other things. What do you two do aside from just talking? Ever go out together? Ever have similar interests? Hobbies? Eg: I take mountain biking as a sport in the summer, and my gf likes to go cycling for leisure. We talk about that. I ask her stuff like how she wants to improve on her strength, what her goals are, etc. Then that stems to weight training, cardio exercises, hiking, then it stems to hiking on Mount Fuji, then that leads to me telling her a story about my friend Pat who climbed Fuji and camped over night, etc, etc, etc. It goes on and on and on until your eyes are droopy, but even then conversations can last for 6 hours.
Anyway, you may want to reassess your relationship first. You might be better off single and doing your own thing, growing up a bit more, than having a relationship where you don't talk about anything with your gf.
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