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I am 16 and he is 27!

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2006) 13 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2006)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend is 27 and i am 16 there is 11yrs different and my parents arent the happiest of people and most of the people i tell are very shocked what do i do to make them not say all this bad stuff about him to me because its really annoying and i hate the fact that they wanna interfere thank you all for any advice given here . x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

age is just a number to me but thanks everyone for the advice me n him are together still and we love eahch other

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A female reader, Anarchy67 +, writes (13 September 2006):

hey

well, im in the same situation as u, im 16, soon to be 17 in a month, and i want a relationship wiv a 26 yr old woman, but she's my teacher, so it's kind of iffy lol... but i say, who cares abt the age difference, it doesnt mater!

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A female reader, kristinp +, writes (2 September 2006):

If you really car about him you need to be really carful because he could go to jail

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006):

Hi, i am also 16, very soon to be 17. I am really interested in a guy that is 28, my mum hates the idea of it.. it doesn't help that his older brother is soon to marry my mum and become my step dad.Like you i feel helpless, my mum wants me to have nothing to do with him, but i can't let go it would break my heart. I have been close to this guy now for nearly a year and we have not slept together, and he would never push me into anything.I think you should follow your heart, but make sure he's worth it and will stand by ou whatever.. and make sure he realises that your parents are not exactly jumping out of their seats happy for you. I can understand our mums want to protect us, but is there really anything to protect us from?? i hope i have helped you think about a few things, and like me i hope it works out x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006):

Hello.

I am a 22 year old girl, and my partner is 32. We met when I was just 17. At that age, I thought the age gap was huge! We grew a lot closer when I was 19, and then he kissed me. I ran a mile and kept my distance for a month, as I was terrified by the thought I had just kissed a man 10 years older than me, and I was only a teenager.

Now its a very different storey. I found him again, as I knew that this feeling I had inside was not about to go away. To get to the point, we have now been together for 3 1/2 years and I do not have a single regret. But it wasn't an easy start.

When I told my parents that I thought I was falling in love with a 29 year old man (I was 19) they were most concerned. Infact, they made it very clear that they did not agree. To be honest, I did not really agree with the age difference but I just couldn't help how I felt. We now own a house togetherm looking at our second, and he is the best friend I have ever had, or ever will have. As they say, love conquers all, and it certainlly does.

My parents concerns eased as they got to know my man, and now they just about lone him as much as I do. His family too were a little worried at first, as he had been through so much in those 10 years I had not yet lived, but they too now love me, and I am very much a member of their family.

It is a big age gap, but more so when you are 16. I don't think I would have been ready, or mature enough to really deal with that when I was 16, but in a few years time things will start to make much more sence. Your parents do have a right to be worried about the relationship, as there are a lot of older men out there who will happily take advantage of younger girls. Luckily I found one that was pure hearted.

Be patient with your parents. Perhaps try to think of ways to show maturity towards them and this issue, they will respect you and your decisions more. And take time to think about it yourself too.

Best of luck

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A female reader, swstorms +, writes (27 August 2006):

My granddaughter is 15; at what age can she have sexual relations with her 29 year old boyfriend without the law getting us involved in a legal mess. My entire family loves her boyfriend and we would be planning a wedding for them if the laws had not changed since I was young. My daughter met her husband of 30 years on her 16th birthday and she had a 3 month old son. They had five more beautiful health children. I encourage them to wait a few more years to get married but maybe they should just get married now. Would that be safer to marry rather then date for another 2 or 3 years? Would the prissy do-gooders leave them alone if they were married?

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A male reader, David Lewis United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2006):

David Lewis agony auntDo you live in the USA?

If you live in the UK, then it is legal as long as you are 16 or older.

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A male reader, marcezs08 +, writes (27 August 2006):

think about it its like if i tried to date my aunt, and by the way im 16 too, its just a very bad idea for u to go out with him, cuz that aint goin to last long, u r goin to end up heart broken, and up till now sexually abused ( what he did qualifies because ur a minor) and i no, cuz my best friend, hes 16 and hes in jail for having sex with his gf, even tho he too is a minor... kinda weird huh?... well just break up with him before he breaks ur heart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006):

my opinion is ur not being really smart, and by the way, since last monday as u said ur bf is wanted in 48 states i think ... what hes doing is called pedofilia, old people interested in teens... hes not in "love" with u he's just using u, u cant have a real relationship with that age difference, cuz when u ask how was ur job today, he will ask how was school, my advice is loose him for the sake of ur parents or before they do something and he goes to jail...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for the things u said and i will take it in because i understand the youngness in my age may seem a bit weirder but i do know who i am and i have already suffered one big heart break so but i have never told anyone i love them (apart from my current bf) and i have never had sex until last monday i trust him with my life and everything thanks x x x

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2006):

DrPsych agony auntThere are the same number of years between me and my husband. The difference is that I am in my 30's and he is in his 20's. My point is that we both have life experience and both have long term relationships in our pasts. At 16 you are still developing as a person and you might not have figured out who you are, what you want from life or any of that sort of stuff until your 20's or 30's. I can understand why your parents would be concerned - you are their little baby, and there is this much older man taking an interest. It is only natural that they would be cautious - they don't want you to end up sexually used and heart-broken. They may also be suspicious about this guy wondering why he is not interested in girls his own age - sometimes men choose younger women as they think they are easier to 'impress'. Whatever the true situation...well only time will tell. He maybe a really nice guy and perhaps you will share a happy life together. Perhaps it won't work out in the long run. Basically you need to keep an open-mind and don't feel pressured into doing anything you feel unhappy with. It doesn't matter that your parents and friends are not happy with the arrangement - just read their concern as love and affection for you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank You but they have all met him my friends and family my best mate and my next door neighbours but nothing seems to work i dont really understand why they dislike him but its annoying because i really think there will be more than just bf gf thing between us. i really care about him and i have never felt like this before people might say its just teenage sh** but it aint iv been in love once before but that turned out in disaster (because the guy raped me) so my heart shattered and that is why i wanna be careful this time but its totally different now because me n him are meant to be together i knew that the first time i met him till now and it will be the same till the day i die i assure u that it will. we are inthatuated by each other . but thanks for the advice love yas bye x x

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A female reader, let me help! +, writes (27 August 2006):

that is a big age gap. If your happy with him, make sure you are in a stable relationship. If your parents cant accept it, ask him round for dinner and make sure he is on his best behaviour. your parents will understand and accept that you and him are a couple. XxX frm paula.

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