A
male
age
26-29,
*ak_Antony
writes:I definatly love my french teacher and I do want to get into some kind of relationship with her...but I also know that it can put her job at risk... Should I tell her how I feel and take it from there, not tell her and carry on just being kind of friends...Some other info you might want to know:1. She is 29 yrs old (french teacher)2. She shows that she enjoys the relationship we already have and does not seem like she would like to try a serious relationship though I know she likes me back for we have hugged and (respectfully)kissed each other on the cheek.3. I actually have left the school she teaches at and have her email address.4. I love her to pieces and sometime I cry and get very emotional when I think about her and all the good times we had through 2 years.5. We went on school trips together and I felt like it was never going to end but then it did...6. I am 14 years oldI actually want an answer to 2 questions:Firstly the one above (should I tell her and try a relationship or not kinda question...) Secondly how do I get over her if the answer to the question above is a -no don't do it-,I miss her alot but I can contact her and know where the school is to see her. Should I sit down with her and talk about it...I don't know and i'm very confused, please help me!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I'm with you there, I have no idea. Mine was on my mind and still is all the time.
However since time has gone on, its slowly vaporized.
Going out with friends or doing something fun tends to take my mind completley off her. You can't do it all the time but everyday, every two days whatever, just go out with friends and meet new people. Your mind will slowly switch onto something and someone else.
Can I just say, I'm by no means encouraging you to tell her. Your still at risk by the fact she might tell your parents, and you need to make it clear that you don't plan to act on your feelings. Also, be aware that she may ignore you for a while afterwards, to try and stay away from you. Partly so you can get over her.
You just need to stick to one decision and go for it. I really hope all goes well.
Tell us what she says, I'll be interested to know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): The hurting will be almost completely gone within half a year, hardest in the first month but every day less after that as long as you try to cut off all contact with your teacher.Meanwhile, you should go out with friends as much as you can, or try to get caught up in something that uses your brain, like a new job that requires you to learn interesting new skills.Travel is another great way to help heal a broken heart. If you have a good relationship with your parents, you can tell them you've been unhappy in love and need to get away-- they might be able to help you go someplace new to take your mind off things (a visit to cousins, for instance). If nothing else appeals, you could try to make pen pals with French girls, and learn more about her country... in fact even planning a summer in a French-speaking country might be a good idea if you can afford it. This way you can persuade yourself you'll have more in common with your teacher, but odds are that once you get involved in something like this, she'll become less important to you.
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A
male
reader, Jak_Antony +, writes (12 July 2008):
Jak_Antony is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know what im going to do now with help from gecko12. Im going to tell her how i feel towards her although it was pretty obvious throughout the past term. I know that nothing will probably happen buti can't stop thinking about her. I will keep in contact no matter what happens because i have her number, email and blog (yes she gave them to me). Does anyone have any suggestions to help me stop thinking about her or at least take away some of the pain i am feeling??? Even some advice just to take my mind off this?
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A
female
reader, Tigger3165  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 You'll get over her in time... Many people develop feelings for a teacher at some point, but being in a relationship with a teacher is WRONG! If you tried something, you would just be putting yourself in the situation where you WILL end up hurt... and if she did want something, the situation would end up ruining her life... so if you DO love her, the best thing is to just move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Whey welcome to my world!
It hurts doesn't it! - I cried in the weeks up to leaving mine but I'm a wuss. At the same time although I had her mobile, I had it for different reasons and its not like she gave me any intention of keeping in touch.
Moving onto you. I guarantee that your teacher would NOT want a relationship with you. Its harsh but I will tell you why. Its easier now you've left the school to open up to your feelings if you were really, REALLY desperate to. However she is older, more experienced, and would not want her reputation tanted. That doesn't mean that shes in a different league as such, it means that you two can't get together because of her career choice.
And your age.
I hug my teacher. I haven't kissed her, but I've hugged the majority of my teachers. Particularly when I left. It means that you get along and nothing more, don't get hung up about it.
Your like I was when I was 14. I was obsessed and clung onto the hope that something would happen. But your less deluded about it unlike me. More mature about it.
I think in your situation, you could do one of two things. You could go through the agonizing ordeal of never seeing someone you love or 'infatuated' with. Or of course you could e-mail her and say you need to talk and just let it out?! You could do the middle option too I guess, but that just tortures you. You could get over her and use the contact details to remain friends with her and not go through the 'never see you again bit.'
I suggest you, with any other ideas you have, list the pros and cons and eliminate the options one by one to have a decision you are going to stick with. I suggest you make it clear to her that your going to be an adult about it, that your going to respect her decision and not going to get hung over about it.
Remember telling her MIGHT make her ignore you for a while, but you can always come back to her later. Also, its extremeley unlikely anything will happen. Extremley. But it might make you feel better just to let it all out.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
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