A
female
age
41-50,
*ummers
writes:Hi can anyone give me some advice? I live in Wxxxxxm with my parents and my fiance lives in Wxxxxy which is an hour and a half away, we've always said that I will move in with him once we get married next year, but lately Ive change my mind and I desperately want to stay in Wxxxxxm so Im not so far away from my parents, its all I can think about, Ive even been looking online for houses! The problem is, he is really settled there in his flat and his job where he's worked fo 16 years. Its gona be a big up-root for him but I just really don't want to live that far away. How can I tell him? I just don't know but I wana do it really soon, sooner rather than later I think is best, but how?! Please can anyone help? Summers
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female
reader, Summers +, writes (20 February 2010):
Summers is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thank you for the comments so far. I forgot to say in my question, that my health is very bad and I don't drive so I always have to journey between here and there by train which does ware me out a lot, once Im living there I planned to do the journey a couple of times a week but Iv now realised I cant do that. Also my mother is very ill, and has always relied on my help, even though my dad will take over once Ive moved out, I still don't want to be so far away from her, as we are so close. The place where my fiance works has another branch 10 minutes from here and he could easily transfer. I am going to talk to him about it next weekend when I stay with him, Im just scared what he will say!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 One and a half hour is not that far and you could stay at both places whenever it suited the both of you .
If you are married, you should preferably not stay with your parents.
Next year is still a long time to go and many things could have change.
Wait till you come to the bridge and then decide if you want to cross it or not.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 February 2010):
I think this is more about nerves. It's a big step for your both, especially you if you are moving away. Bur realistically, it's going to be very hard for him if he has his career. You should sit down and be honest. Tell him that you have been thinking about how you would prefer to stay nearer to your parents. I'm afraid you just have to be honest. He may not take to it either. The reason that he will be partially worried about his career, but also worried about being under the eye of your parents so much. Really think about this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): You need to talk to him, and tell him how you are feeling.
It could be you are just nervous about making changes, in your life, getting married married and moving, are two big changes.
I would make the suggestion of moving somewhere in the middle, but as you say he has been in his settled in his job so that might not be possible.
With the internet,& webcams keeping in touch is a lot better than it used to be.
Think about how you would feel if you did not get married and move, would you regret that?
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