A
female
age
41-50,
*rmymommy
writes:Ok so how do I put this. How do I get my husband to help me get turned on during sex? Usually when we have sex he just does what he needs to and we are done 10 mins at the most. I have talked to him about it but it still has not changed anything. I have tried asking him to do different things during the action but he really incorporates no foreplay and I don't know how to get him to carres me or play with my chest or anything? does any one have any advise
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 May 2009):
 Don't TELL him what you want SHOW him. When you tell a guy they aren't doing it right they feel a sense of failure, which only leads to them either giving up or loosing interest.
SHOW him what you like. TAKE the lead. Don't have sex till you are at that stage where YOU want to jump him RIGHT NOW! That means you initiate the forplay - emphasis on PLAY. Tease him, let him work for it.
Most women who stop wanting to have sex is getting bad sex from their partner. It won't change unless you take the time and make the effort.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): Tell him there's nothing in it for you and if he wants more sex he is going to have to make an effort! And stick to your guns.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 Agreed, Gina - foreplay is ESSENTIAL - otherwise he is treating you like "a hole in the mattress"!
If he can't be trained into being less selfish and inconsiderate of your needs, either go to the bathroom and give yourself a couple of orgasms by yourself first, or bring a vibrator and/or dildo to the bedroom and show him how you turned on you can be when properly stimulated.
My guess is that when he sees you fully in the throes of a massive orgasm he'll find it such a turn-on that he will want to be a part of the action!
I hope so.....
Good luck.
Harry.
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