A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are on ourhoneymoon and we were about to get in the hot tube in our room (ending in having sex) but when I looked over I saw he was on his computer watching porn. As I was walking over he quickly exited out of it. I confronted him and he said he was just "getting in the mood." are u kidding me? He can't get in the mood from his wife on the honeymoon. I am super pissed but I don't want to waste the rest of the vacation but I don't want him to feel as if he is getting away with something. What should I do? We have had issues with his sex drive being lower than mine and him watching porn so now mainly he doesn't and he tells me right away when he does. I'm ok with that but not porn during the honeymoon.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Bloody rude... but he is right, pornography purpose is to help raise sex drive. If his sex drive is low and his not a sexual person, I can understand him using some porn to try to get him wild and in the mood.
"You should be enough".. yep, that's how it goes in Hollywood movies, right alongside "Men think 24/7 about the women they love and everyone else is ugly", "Happy Ever After", "Santa exists" and "Wife's only purpose in life is to make a husband happy."
Your options
1. Divorce him, he let you down, divorce and get another man
2. Realise people make mistakes or people think differently and understand that what he's saying is the truth
3. Stay with him forever, but every day in every way remind him how much he hurt you... then he can be as unhappy as you for the rest of your life.
4. Accept that life is complicated, you married him because you love him, but he aint God, he makes mistakes... forgive and forget this one, because he still got many to make.. and so have you.
You married a man with a lower sex drive... this problems will come up often.. If porn helps don't kick it out, do whatever it takes to have a happy marriage and successful sex life. He doesn't know much about women, or he wouldn't have been so rude.
A
female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (11 January 2012):
 He's watched too much porn by the look of it and now can't get it up for a real live woman. If he has a low sex drive then watching porn is NOT going to help! He is completely desensitised! Wouldn't viagra have been a better option if he was worried about getting it up. I guess you've married him now but you need to make it clear that his actions were totally crass!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): It must have been a shock.... but why are either of you on a PC during your honeymoon, is it in the room or did you bring one with you?
Don't be too hard on him I think he was doing it for you. He knows you have a higher sex drive than him and obviously didn't want the honeymoon to be a disapointment. Thats extra pressure on him.
Its something you need to chat about when you get home,your sex life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): I can really understand that you're super pissed - I'd be super pissed too!
But you know, we women don't really get what's on a man's mind. Maybe he was worried about not getting an erection or something, maybe he wasn't in the mood that day but felt under pressure since it's honeymoon and everything needs to be perfect. But I think honeymoons, christmasses, weddings, new years evenings, all those things tend to become disappointing pretty fast if there are too many hopes about them being the BEST times of your life.
I think it's tasteless, yes, but it's your honeymoon - maybe you can give your marriage a nice start by forgiving him. Maybe, in return, he'll forgive you one of your mistakes as well, remember, marriage is long and you both won't always be sensitive or make good choices.
Or talk about it one more time, even if it's your honeymoon, since obviously it's already a bit spoiled by this incident or you wouldn't be sitting at a computer and writing to dearcupid.org during it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Give him a break. If he has erection issues and still puts forth an effort to please you then drop the issue. If he has low sex drive but wants to please you give him a break if he is trying. He may be trying to get extra stiff for u. I wouldnt worry simply bc it seems he was preparing for u. Maybe the two of u should see a doctor about his sexual problems. Now if u wasn't about to have sex and he was on his computer with his Johnson out then I would be upset. But considering his low sex drive it could be he wanted to watch something to get him stiff n quickly in the mood. It has nothing to do with u why he has a low sex drive. What if guys refused girls the option of over the counter lubrication for sex, wouldn't that be unfair. So consider him and his reasoning.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 January 2012):
 He's on the web watching porn and you're on the web posting to strangers about it....
Did you tell him this? did you tell him it's NOT OK that he' watches porn on your honeymoon....
heck on mine NO COMPUTERS are coming.....
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