Husband erupting over the silliest things, what can I do to help??

A female age 41-50, *lberto3 writes:

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. I can't even ask him a question about the simplest things without him making me feel like I shouldn't have asked. I asked him to slow down in a neighborhood because he was doing 50 miles an hour. He blew up at me. I hate what this is doing to my kids. Help me. What should I do?

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A female reader, Auntie E  +, writes (23 May 2010):

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