A
female
age
,
1busybee
writes:Quite often when I hear that people are getting divorced or the relationship is falling apart for any number of reasons I ask myself how that happens. It comes down to 1 word the relationship has become"NEGATIVE". The two involved partners stop thinking clearly enough to realize that. For example if one of them got a toothache, they would have it fixed. If they got sick and needed medication they would take it. Yet in a relationship the two partners become overwhelmed with a problem or set of problems that they do not fix. It could be one problem or several that pile up. Instead of hunkering down looking directly at each other and stating the facts "we have a problem" they avoid that and thus begins the attack phase or the blame game and of course nothing get done and they are negative toward each other.The opposite of this is the positive focus toward each other, compliments on achievements and more as relationships are partnerships that require constant communication, compromise and positive support from each other. Discussions, mediations with outside intervention can help but ultimately the two people have to refocus why they liked each others strengths in the first place, keeping a positive focus on the fact they as a team they can solve the problems in a positive way that they are faced with. When that can happen the partnership can emerge much stronger so that the next set of problems becomes easier to tackle. In short they learn to become problem solvers who use any resources they need to to reach that positive goal agreeing!
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female
reader, Lourdes  +, writes (30 September 2012):
I find it difficult to stay in love as well. My husband and I have been married for only one year, but, although we're still trying to make it work, we feel there's no bond there.
This is the most painful thing that happened to us. I feel he's not making enough effort to keep me in love and he feels I am not able to create bonds with people, including him.
Is there a way back to what we used to have?
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