A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance now for almost 4 years and we are on the edge of breaking up. I recently lied to him about stupid crap. I lost my job and didn't tell him until about 2 days later. I know it was wrong and I should have told him but I was afraid to. We have been having problems before and we just got to a new start and I didn't want any more conflict. I was going to leave him 2 weeks before this happened but I didn't. I love him very much and I don't want to loose him. In the past I lied before about small things, But I have never cheated.I have always been faithful to him and always will be no matter what. The only things I have lied about were for stupid junk that shouldn't of been lied about in the first place. They were small and petty but a lie is a lie. I guess the reason I lied is so I wouldn't start a conflict, actually ww3 he has a little of an anger problem. I have been emotional hurt by him so many times I just didn't want it to happen anymore. I love him and I want to stay with him but I am about done. I try to do everything I can for him I know you have to earn trust back but why does he still hate me so and ignore me? He don't even look at me no more We live together and got 2 kids and I know they can feel whats going on. It has been 3 weeks ago when this happened I don't know what to do. Can you help me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Ok you lied about some things but it sounds to me like you only done this because you were scared that he was going to blow a fuse, he shouldnt get angry if you lose your job he should be there for you and comfort you, it sounds to me like you are scared of this man and thats not healthy, sit down with him and explain to him that you love him and the only reason you done this was because you were scared of his reaction, if he doesnt ease up then i think you are better seperating and finding someone that isnt so over powering.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 November 2010):
 It doesn't sound like he's letting you regain that trust if he's being hurtful and ignoring you. This takes two, he has to forgive you and let you earn back the trust and you have to show him you can be trusted again. Otherwise, it's just one person fighting to make this work, not a group effort. If you wish to stay with him, sit down and have a chat about trust..apologize for the lies you have told and you are willing to regain back that trust. He in return has to forgive you.
Now, if he can't forgive you..then consider the relationship over. You cannot have a proper relationship without any trust.
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