A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about how to approach an issue - I recently started dating this guy that I'm not sure if I like or not, but I want to give him a chance. The problem is that it usually takes about 30 or so minutes for me to climax. My previous boyfriend, although he couldn't really last that long in the beginning, he really tried and over time somehow learned to do it so it was wonderful being with him. The new guy.. he goes on for however long he needs to.. 10, 15 min and after he's done, he's done. This makes me wonder whether he really cares about me that he's really not willing to put any extra effort into satisfying me physically. But worst of all, it makes me really miss my old boyfriend and how concerned he was about me and wish I was with him instead. What do I do - I'm afraid to talk to the guy because we're still relatively new (maybe he's still uncomfortable and needs some time to adjust to being with me?), its a sensitive subject and I dont want to hurt his feelings. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Well, like lexilou said, it would be pretty difficult for a guy to have sex for 30 mins, but you need to talk to him about the other things he can do to help you to climax. It's odd that he hasn't asked you about what you like, etc, but then you were not speaking up either! He will never know what you like if you don't talk to him about it. An easy way to start this conversation would be to ask what his sexual preferences are first. I also wanted to say that many women take 30 mins or more to climax, but it helps if you start with lots of foreplay.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 30 mins is a lot to ask a guy and requires quite a bit of stamina!! Try talking to him about it though but not in a way that makes him feel useless, after all some women would love a guy to do it for 10-15, my friend says all she gets is three pumps and a squirt!! Like you say it takes time to learn things together and my hubbie will wait for me if I need more time, he can stop himself for a while.
How about a compromise, does it help if he gets you nearly there orally and then enters you, try it to see if that can make you come a bit quicker. Oh and dont fake it or else you will be stuck in a rut x
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