A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly two years which isn't long but we do have a six month old daughter together. My boyfriend is my best friend and has been my first in everything - I had never been in anothe relationship before I met him. I'm 22, he is 24. Recently however I have found that I have a crush on someone else. I know it's normal to be attracted to others when in a long time relationship but in this case it's even more inappropriate. I'm attracted to his older brother - he's 26. It wouldn't be so bad to ignore except recently I've found myself fantasizing about him way too often. I've even started to wonder if he has feelings for me. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how to get over him?
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female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (22 June 2010):
 It will take time and beleive me it isn't hard ive kinda been there myself. You just need to clear your mind and think only of the man your with. Look at him when your making love so you know that it is him who is loving you and not his brother. Try and think of your love constantly and discard the feelings for his brother. Tell yourself that nothing will eve rhappen and tat you ARE happy with your current man.
Hope im helping :) x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think that the crush is evolving into anything more thsn that, ie there are no feelings involved really, it's all on a physical level, I care for him in a brotherly/sisterly sense butr not as anything more, which is obviously a good thing, however I can't seem to kick start my common sense when I'm in fantasy land - I've always had an overly strong imagination. Now I'm imagining that I'm with his brother nearly every time that we kiss or have sex. The worst thing is that it always makes it feel better which is a bad thing because it makes me want to do it again the next time round. Aaarrrggghhh!!! I only wish that there was a sure fire way to stop myself from feeling like this...
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (5 June 2010):
Just try and get the love back. Tell him you want a ngith in with him, watch a film, make dinner. Ask someone to mind your daughter for the night. Kiss him, make love with him.
Just show him as much as you can that you love him, i can understand that it'll be stressful for both of you having a baby but you cant give up love and companionship for a crush. You need to try and make it work with him for the sake of your baby.
Again good luck and keep me posted :) xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. Role play might work although we've done it a lot before. I could never tell my boyfriend about my recent thoughts for his brother-it would crush him.I feel like such a bad person already for feeling like this-it's completely taboo! On the other hand since we moved in together, five months ago, we have been getting increasingly on edge with each other. We spend a lot less time just loving each other than we used to when we were apart more often. I suppose that's why my long time minor attraction to his older brother,overnight turned into a major crush...
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (4 June 2010):
Its the basic human concept, we want what we can't have or what we know is wrong. You need to stop fantasizing, you have a man and a daughter. Your boyfriend loves you and you need to remember that. This isn't healthy, maybe you just need something new? try a little role play with your boyfriend. It's exciting and helps spark things. But dont ask him to roleplay his brother, thats just wrong.
Good luck x
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