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How long on average does a guy last in bed?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 14 June 2010)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Just a quick question, for guys or girls, probably mainly for the guys but, how long on average do you last in bed? I haven't had sex for a while and it's getting to the point I'm avoiding it because I'm afraid I'm going to be premature and get embarrassed about it. Thanks

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A male reader, johndearest United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

Well, really it all depends on how you make love. The reason why men ejaculate so quickly is because they are too focused on how good it feels to themselves and not how the women feel. I used to only be able to last about 15 minutes, until I figured out that it was mainly mental. I started focusing on my wonderful girlfriend and noticing her reactions and thought about how good it made her feel and I didn't even think about myself and I lasted for about 2 hours and I didn't even ejaculate, she actually made me stop because she was tired. haha Seriously though, all in all, just try and focus on the girl and how it makes her feel instead of thinking about how good it feels to you. If you can do that, you are in good shape. Hope this helps. :)

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

duce00 agony auntYou can also use all your other talents (oral, hands, sensuality, pillow talk, etc) to please her. You are focusing on performance and I do understand that, but this is not meant to be a sport my friend. I think the ladies are trying to get a really good point through to you and I will put it in guy lingo if you don't mind. "Its not all about your dick man!"

What ever you do be genuine, sincere, and engaging about it. Without that you are just a talking dildo.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

Well, as long as i know,it is a function of duration but how satisfied your partner within the period of orgasm.

But i think the average duration for normal men is between 5-10 minutes.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009):

I know when guys masturbate its very easy to prolong it. Some guys can jack off for 15 minutes, then when they get in bed they last 2 minutes. It all depends. I know one thing, premature ejaculation can be quite embarassing. Just gotta make sure that thing is wrapped good.

God I hope my next experience is not pre mature

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009):

I didnt have sex for about 4 months and now I have a girlfriend. We had sex for the first time and i thought i wasnt going to last long but I lasted for a good hour..im guessing it depends on the guy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009):

Well if you plan on having sex soon, (which by the sounds of it you are) let the girl know that it's been awhile and that you are just going to need to get used to sleeping with someone as beautiful as she is. Seriously dude she will love it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

The best way to make it last longer is to simply relax.... If you get to a point where you know you are close, stop and do something else. Change won't happen overnight, but the more you practice, the longer it will last.

Another way, focus on her rather than yourself. Make her the pinnacle of your focus seems to help immensely.

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A male reader, pinkey1981 United States +, writes (2 January 2009):

First of all. Read up on the subject. The best sex is listed as lasting 4-7 minutes. Do it, cuddle, repeat lol. Long sexual episodes tend to get painful for her, so relax.

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A male reader, PHOBIA MAN United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2009):

before i go any further, bear in mind NATURE makes it so that when we were cavemen we had to get copulation over with asap because we are vulnerable to attack while doing it, I know we're not in dangerous times any longer but the ability is still there. As a caveman you be the main man dude, your genes would be the the ones to carry on. Now in modern times it is 'required' that we go at it for ages! but relax, you just need know that it's a mind thing.While having sex if you concentrate on (and fear)the feeling that you are about to come, your mind will aim toward it. We have a saying in my line of work (hypnotherapy) "you get what you focus on". are you saying to yourself when you 'enter' "I hope I don't come too soon"? or something similar? if so look at what your mind hears 'come too soon' so it brings it all the more quicker, get it? so next time be cool (i know you're just about to have sex and you are exited about it!)but take it slow and focus directly on actually talking to her (no sexy stuff though) look at her face and see every lovely feature, she will love the attention (keep focusing now!) move in and out very slow (remember it's hard to stop a speeding car)and just like driving if you feel like you're losing control just apply the brakes, get out, take a breather and get back in when the adrenaline has subsided. Remember many women can have an orgasm with manual stimulation so show her some gentle handywork in between, it's not like in the movies when they all seem to orgasm through penetration (get her to teach you her fave technique) TOP TIP! tell her that you need to learn to detect the very first feeing you get when you are about to come, and would she mind you just entering and moving til you feel it, then stop (pull out)5mins later do again and soon you will learn the very first feeling of coming so as you can stop or withdraw sooner (she'll be glad to help you, after all it's in her interest), TRUST ME you will soon be a cool lover! do your homework on that feeling though, ok?

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A male reader, roadman United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2009):

roadman agony auntYou can make it long as last as you want to... If you feel your going to blow your beans before time then take your foot of the gas.

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A female reader, Hmmmmmm United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2009):

hi

I find men differ in bed and to be honest if you are with a loving partner, you really shouldn't be bothered about how long you last.

There are techniques you can use to hold off ejaculation. alot of men masturbate prior to having sex to ensure they last longer, you could have a break during sex, focus on kissing your girl and making her feel special.

More importantly, relax and enjoy it. the more time you spend having sex, the longer you will last each time. and remember, its not about how long you last, its about being with the person and enjoying each others time.

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